i sent u my verse, pls respond

 laying out a tender organ

between unskillful fingers;

hands shaking as I offered up a blurry picture of

something intimate, naked, vaguely expressed—

I immediately wished I’d played it off as a joke

instead I feel the creeping slinking regret

the cold drops of sweaty fear in the hollow of my back

because I revealed something private

in public

 

have I made a terrible mistake

and i i i i i

cannot take it back because the internet is forever

 

i am not afraid of being naked in public

that’s a nightmare i’ve had many times over

but i am afraid of being naked on the internet

 

perhaps i wish i could re-coil these tender delicate organs

back into the cavern of my hideous yellow roiling belly,

beneath layers of flesh

hide them beneath the layers of obscenity

 

this is just to say that if u saw my poem

i cannot tell whether i want u to respond

or not to respond

 

but i know enough to be ashamed

Migraine static gender

 Migraines lead to strange dreams 

I slept and dreamed of strange monstrosities, hideous creatures

tangled in the arms of conventional beauties 

my gender is something like a magpie, something like an omen 

but though I have no tusks or claws 

I slouch, my belly hangs low, I am hirstute

Tangles of dark curling hair fall to my shoulders 

or float above my head

If you asked me to embrace a monster, 

my arms would be open wide 

if you called me a beauty 

I would hide my face in shame 

at the lie.