Hello hello!
Sometimes, one goes on Facebook and sees a friend posting about awesome stuff happening in their life--a trip overseas, a fantastic concert, a great dinner, or all three. Maybe it'll be a craft project that's gone swimmingly. For a lot of people, this can be a cause for frustration and envy. For me, it's usually pleasant, because I like seeing my friends happy. I get envious too, but for the most part, I still feel a lot of positive warmth when I see good stuff like that.
Over the last couple of months, I've been getting help for a medical issue, and somehow...I've turned into one of Those People. I realised it today after I'd finished baking some cobblers and salmon for friends, preparing for a picnic that had been in the works for a couple of weeks. Just yesterday, I'd finished a pillow and some other sewing projects. After that, I'd prepared a tilapia in cheese, wine, and tomato sauce (with Mexican spices), some pasta with fresh herbs, and some pan-fried fiddlehead ferns (which taste like asparagus but much better) for dinner. We had mead with it, too--basically, it was lovely, and then I did something like that all again today.
Flipping through my Instagram and glancing at concert photos, art projects, and tasty food, as well as a bit of urban exploration, I was flummoxed. When the phuque did this happen?
The truth is, I've had a few rotten and just blargh years. I'm fortunate in that I have a degree of privilege--upper middle-class background, an education, being white and cis, and being (mostly) able. That's certainly paved the way for my current situation. (I'd like to believe I've done every damn thing myself, but come on--those circumstances HAVE made it easier.) But with those given circumstances, I've still gone from being a mediocre cook and okay crafter, chugging along, to being, well, cool and kind of successful. This, in spite of a major family disruption that's been going on since December and flared up again in April and March--and in spite of my partner-in-crime being out of a job due to health reasons. Somehow--we're making it work.
There's not much point in pretending to be humble, here, because I'm proud of how far I've come--but at the same time, it certainly didn't happen overnight. I got out of a toxic job, started my own business, and slowly worked away at things. Over the last two years, I've learned to clean the house, and slowly learned to cook better. Along the way there have been a lot of mistakes--burnt food, accidentally getting high on poppyseed loaf (shut up, it really happened), clothes that didn't fit and sewing and knitting projects that just didn't work, and of course, fights with the love of my life. That's just how things go.
Now, looking back, I can see the peaks rather than the valleys. They're most visible, but that doesn't mean the valleys didn't happen. I can't help thinking that it's useful to consider that even if you feel you're really bad or just not much good at something, that it's not the end of the world. The trick of it is to keep trying, keep slogging along, and try different approaches. For me, tons of Anthony Bourdain shows opened my mind somehow, and made me relax and cook, well, better. Asking my boyfriend for cleaning help and asking one of my mentors for her cleaning tips helped me throw out some junk and unwanted possessions, and recycle others.
When I look at the salmon roast and cobbler I made, I can't see the jar of Himalayan salt that broke all over the kitchen floor just earlier. I can't see the burned butter and herbs that ended up in the sink, last night, after the first attempt at a topping for the pasta didn't work out. But they're there--behind every success is at least a dozen failures and semi-successful attempts. In the end, one muddles through, and if one continues to muddle and keeps trying, eventually, it often works out.
Sometimes, one goes on Facebook and sees a friend posting about awesome stuff happening in their life--a trip overseas, a fantastic concert, a great dinner, or all three. Maybe it'll be a craft project that's gone swimmingly. For a lot of people, this can be a cause for frustration and envy. For me, it's usually pleasant, because I like seeing my friends happy. I get envious too, but for the most part, I still feel a lot of positive warmth when I see good stuff like that.
 |
Strawberry peach cobbler. First ever--made today. |
Over the last couple of months, I've been getting help for a medical issue, and somehow...I've turned into one of Those People. I realised it today after I'd finished baking some cobblers and salmon for friends, preparing for a picnic that had been in the works for a couple of weeks. Just yesterday, I'd finished a pillow and some other sewing projects. After that, I'd prepared a tilapia in cheese, wine, and tomato sauce (with Mexican spices), some pasta with fresh herbs, and some pan-fried fiddlehead ferns (which taste like asparagus but much better) for dinner. We had mead with it, too--basically, it was lovely, and then I did something like that all again today.
Flipping through my Instagram and glancing at concert photos, art projects, and tasty food, as well as a bit of urban exploration, I was flummoxed. When the phuque did this happen?
The truth is, I've had a few rotten and just blargh years. I'm fortunate in that I have a degree of privilege--upper middle-class background, an education, being white and cis, and being (mostly) able. That's certainly paved the way for my current situation. (I'd like to believe I've done every damn thing myself, but come on--those circumstances HAVE made it easier.) But with those given circumstances, I've still gone from being a mediocre cook and okay crafter, chugging along, to being, well, cool and kind of successful. This, in spite of a major family disruption that's been going on since December and flared up again in April and March--and in spite of my partner-in-crime being out of a job due to health reasons. Somehow--we're making it work.
There's not much point in pretending to be humble, here, because I'm proud of how far I've come--but at the same time, it certainly didn't happen overnight. I got out of a toxic job, started my own business, and slowly worked away at things. Over the last two years, I've learned to clean the house, and slowly learned to cook better. Along the way there have been a lot of mistakes--burnt food, accidentally getting high on poppyseed loaf (shut up, it really happened), clothes that didn't fit and sewing and knitting projects that just didn't work, and of course, fights with the love of my life. That's just how things go.
Now, looking back, I can see the peaks rather than the valleys. They're most visible, but that doesn't mean the valleys didn't happen. I can't help thinking that it's useful to consider that even if you feel you're really bad or just not much good at something, that it's not the end of the world. The trick of it is to keep trying, keep slogging along, and try different approaches. For me, tons of Anthony Bourdain shows opened my mind somehow, and made me relax and cook, well, better. Asking my boyfriend for cleaning help and asking one of my mentors for her cleaning tips helped me throw out some junk and unwanted possessions, and recycle others.
When I look at the salmon roast and cobbler I made, I can't see the jar of Himalayan salt that broke all over the kitchen floor just earlier. I can't see the burned butter and herbs that ended up in the sink, last night, after the first attempt at a topping for the pasta didn't work out. But they're there--behind every success is at least a dozen failures and semi-successful attempts. In the end, one muddles through, and if one continues to muddle and keeps trying, eventually, it often works out.
***
Thanks for dropping by the nest once again. Leave your comments, rebuttals, and vehement agreements below. Don't miss any of the phuquerie--get on the mailing list. Find Michelle on Twitter, Facebook, and on Tumblr, and find her work on Amazon. Check back on the blog to see when one of the irregular posts has careened onto your feed. This is the one and only SciFiMagpie, over and out!
No comments:
Post a Comment
As always, be excellent unto others, and don't be a dick.