This week, I'm going to talk about more sugar daddy scamming - but also, its surprising overlap with the K-pop and fan fiction communities.
Now, my exposure to K-pop has come from a couple of sources. First, when "Gagnam Style" blew up the internet in 2012, I genuinely liked it, and so did my partner, Disarcade. There was an alternate cover of the track featuring Hyuna, a queen of the scene at the time. Checking out her videos ushered us both into the rabbithole that is Korean pop music. I didn't stick around - as long-time readers and friends may know, my tastes tend towards acoustic music, jazz, neo-swing, a little bit of epic metal, alternative hip-hop, and a few other genres - but he absolutely loved it. My partner's younger sibling also absolutely loves K-pop too.
I've gotten used to glimpses of immaculately dressed young Koreans dancing in intricate formations flashing across my partner's second monitor. Many older Millennials, Gen Xers, and even Boomers have probably heard of Korean pop, but might not be too familiar with it. For those too afraid to ask, it generally features color-saturated styles and strictly choreographed dance numbers. Bands tend to feature four to six members, sometimes more, and often align with various personality types. If one took the "boy band" and girl band trends of the late 90s and early 2000s, fermented and distilled them, then strained all of them through a hip, consumption-oriented, and tech-savvy culture, you'd get K-pop: and that's exactly what K-pop is.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, it's grown in popularity in both Canada and the US. The stylish looks and meticulous production and performances are undeniably slick. Those familiar with even the mere name of "One Direction" will be unsurprised that similar adulation follows the groups. With adulation comes fan fiction, and that's where we get back to the main topic of my series.
When I first started looking into sugar daddies and scammers, I noticed a ton of tweets about K-pop stars and using K-pop gifs in general. It was clear that there was something going on. What were these carefully crafted aesthetic collage posts featuring immaculately coiffed young men talking about? And what was this about #KpopTwitterIsScammingSugarDaddies? I had to find out, and I took to Twitter once again.
Most of the reactions and comment threads dated back to 2016, so this is clearly a con that's been going on for some time. That being said, I admit to not feeling terribly bad for hopeful sugar daddies, since they at least have enough money to spend on lavish discretionary peccadilloes.
But with K-pop fans trying to run the cons come the onlookers. And with onlookers and fandoms come the creative works.
So, because I have a younger extended-family sibling who is cooler than me, I asked them about the deal with K-pop and sugar daddies.
The thing about K-pop is that just like One Direction, there is a thriving world of fanfiction attached to it. But perhaps unlike One Direction, the idols actually read this fanfic.
After I'd died of second-hand embarrassment, Younger Sibling explained that alpha/beta/omega fiction, orgies, and bdsm were all part of the fanfic topic cloud used by various writers. In that context, the addition of sugar relationships isn't terribly surprising. (The link above features a "hybrid" kitten-boy character being dominated by his bandmates, and it's pretty indicative of the other fanfiction offerings available - surprisingly well-written, detailed, and unflinching.)
It makes a certain amount of sense that ordinary fans would covet the attention, prestige, and resources these idols have. In addition to being young and good-looking, they're modern-day royalty. Who wouldn't long for a chance at that, especially in the hellscape of modern capitalism? Even in countries where school fees are publicly funded, people who are young and attractive are trying to monetize that in order to get by. It shouldn't be a surprise that teenagers long for security, too.
But of course, when people crave something hard enough, they take a shot at doing it themselves. And sometimes, that's where it all goes wrong.
A now-legendary thread on Twitter provided brazen instructions on how to obtain photos for catfishing, and the phenomenon has only spread since. Frankly, I'm not sure how people are making these accounts and scamming people - but maybe I'm just not cold-hearted enough to build a relationship on lies.
More serious sugar-dating, however, is on the rise in Asia. Of course, people horrified that sex could be anything other than some sort of romantically-conforming ideal have vowed to crack down on the practice, which will only make life more difficult for sex workers and sugar babies alike, but won't stop anything.
Not only that, but some sugar relationships become serious, and even remain stable. Quoting one young woman cited in the article above,
It's a little bit Pretty Woman and a little bit hyperbolic, but maybe we can't blame young people for seeing their place in a world of commodities, and trying to use whatever they have to retain or acquire prestige and securities. Much hay is made about "gold diggers" and "lazy girls who don't want to work," but the investment into these sugar sites, the work and resources to maintain the requisite image, and being able to cater to potential Daddies' desires is no joke. It's a lot of work to figure out what men (who often lack communication skills) want and expect from their fantasy experiences.
Still curious about the world of sugar? Twitter doesn't seem to be the best place to learn about it. You're probably better off going with a monitored and moderated app or website, but subscriptions to those are very expensive.
However, I'm far from done talking about all this. More weird stuff from the worlds of sugaring and financial domination are coming up in the next posts!
And finally, if anyone feels like actually gracing my account with a tip after reading this series, here is my real Paypal.me and my Ko-fi.
Now, my exposure to K-pop has come from a couple of sources. First, when "Gagnam Style" blew up the internet in 2012, I genuinely liked it, and so did my partner, Disarcade. There was an alternate cover of the track featuring Hyuna, a queen of the scene at the time. Checking out her videos ushered us both into the rabbithole that is Korean pop music. I didn't stick around - as long-time readers and friends may know, my tastes tend towards acoustic music, jazz, neo-swing, a little bit of epic metal, alternative hip-hop, and a few other genres - but he absolutely loved it. My partner's younger sibling also absolutely loves K-pop too.
I've gotten used to glimpses of immaculately dressed young Koreans dancing in intricate formations flashing across my partner's second monitor. Many older Millennials, Gen Xers, and even Boomers have probably heard of Korean pop, but might not be too familiar with it. For those too afraid to ask, it generally features color-saturated styles and strictly choreographed dance numbers. Bands tend to feature four to six members, sometimes more, and often align with various personality types. If one took the "boy band" and girl band trends of the late 90s and early 2000s, fermented and distilled them, then strained all of them through a hip, consumption-oriented, and tech-savvy culture, you'd get K-pop: and that's exactly what K-pop is.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, it's grown in popularity in both Canada and the US. The stylish looks and meticulous production and performances are undeniably slick. Those familiar with even the mere name of "One Direction" will be unsurprised that similar adulation follows the groups. With adulation comes fan fiction, and that's where we get back to the main topic of my series.
The K-Pop sugar world
When I first started looking into sugar daddies and scammers, I noticed a ton of tweets about K-pop stars and using K-pop gifs in general. It was clear that there was something going on. What were these carefully crafted aesthetic collage posts featuring immaculately coiffed young men talking about? And what was this about #KpopTwitterIsScammingSugarDaddies? I had to find out, and I took to Twitter once again.
Most of the reactions and comment threads dated back to 2016, so this is clearly a con that's been going on for some time. That being said, I admit to not feeling terribly bad for hopeful sugar daddies, since they at least have enough money to spend on lavish discretionary peccadilloes.
But with K-pop fans trying to run the cons come the onlookers. And with onlookers and fandoms come the creative works.
Fanfiction is stranger than truth
So, because I have a younger extended-family sibling who is cooler than me, I asked them about the deal with K-pop and sugar daddies.
The thing about K-pop is that just like One Direction, there is a thriving world of fanfiction attached to it. But perhaps unlike One Direction, the idols actually read this fanfic.
After I'd died of second-hand embarrassment, Younger Sibling explained that alpha/beta/omega fiction, orgies, and bdsm were all part of the fanfic topic cloud used by various writers. In that context, the addition of sugar relationships isn't terribly surprising. (The link above features a "hybrid" kitten-boy character being dominated by his bandmates, and it's pretty indicative of the other fanfiction offerings available - surprisingly well-written, detailed, and unflinching.)
It makes a certain amount of sense that ordinary fans would covet the attention, prestige, and resources these idols have. In addition to being young and good-looking, they're modern-day royalty. Who wouldn't long for a chance at that, especially in the hellscape of modern capitalism? Even in countries where school fees are publicly funded, people who are young and attractive are trying to monetize that in order to get by. It shouldn't be a surprise that teenagers long for security, too.
But of course, when people crave something hard enough, they take a shot at doing it themselves. And sometimes, that's where it all goes wrong.
How to catfish: a Twitter guide
A now-legendary thread on Twitter provided brazen instructions on how to obtain photos for catfishing, and the phenomenon has only spread since. Frankly, I'm not sure how people are making these accounts and scamming people - but maybe I'm just not cold-hearted enough to build a relationship on lies.
More serious sugar-dating, however, is on the rise in Asia. Of course, people horrified that sex could be anything other than some sort of romantically-conforming ideal have vowed to crack down on the practice, which will only make life more difficult for sex workers and sugar babies alike, but won't stop anything.
Not only that, but some sugar relationships become serious, and even remain stable. Quoting one young woman cited in the article above,
She’s planning to introduce her sugar daddy to her parents in April. “If we get married, no one will call him my sugar daddy any more. He will just be my husband, right? So why let these labels determine your life,” she says. “Even if a woman wants to be a sex worker or an escort, it’s legal in Europe anyway and they pay taxes, why judge her? It’s like being a woman means your entire life will be judged already no matter what.”
What about the real deal?
It's a little bit Pretty Woman and a little bit hyperbolic, but maybe we can't blame young people for seeing their place in a world of commodities, and trying to use whatever they have to retain or acquire prestige and securities. Much hay is made about "gold diggers" and "lazy girls who don't want to work," but the investment into these sugar sites, the work and resources to maintain the requisite image, and being able to cater to potential Daddies' desires is no joke. It's a lot of work to figure out what men (who often lack communication skills) want and expect from their fantasy experiences.
Still curious about the world of sugar? Twitter doesn't seem to be the best place to learn about it. You're probably better off going with a monitored and moderated app or website, but subscriptions to those are very expensive.
However, I'm far from done talking about all this. More weird stuff from the worlds of sugaring and financial domination are coming up in the next posts!
And finally, if anyone feels like actually gracing my account with a tip after reading this series, here is my real Paypal.me and my Ko-fi.
***
Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer and editor. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partner-in-crime and Max the cat. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and learning too much. She is currently working on other people's manuscripts, the next books in her series, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible.
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