I hope everyone is ready for a very spicy update this week. Today, I'm going to dish some of my own experiences in financial domination. Get ready - this is going to be shadowy and spicy.
Readers' Advisory: This post will contain allusions to sexual content and acts that may not be suitable for all readers and ages. Offensive language and slurs also appear in screenshots. Discretion is advised.
First, I decided that I would be stringent about consent and checking in with any of my submissives. It's better to kill the buzz than kill the sub, after all. Second, I would not engage in play that ran the risk of injury or sickness without ensuring the sub was fully aware of and experienced with any types of play alluded to - such as CBT (cock and ball torture), bondage, and other more risky activities. Third, I decided I would not exploit any subs who seemed to be in an unhealthy relationship with financial domination, and that playing within financial safety perimeters would be part of my practice. Fourth, I wanted to check in with my subs and interact as genuinely as possible. Fifth, I would keep my real name and identity separate and undisclosed to submissives for my own safety and to prevent doxxing. Sixth, I would continue informing and checking in with my partner, Disarcade, and solicit his advice when necessary. (Communication is important, folks.)
That covered most of my concerns. I figured I could adjust as necessary. With that, I put on my metaphorical goggles and took the plunge into the wild, extremely wet, dirty world of financial and feminine domination.
The main world of findom and femdom is not that different from beauty guru Twitter or Youtube - although there's probably more lingerie and more nudity, and definitely more spit and feet. However, the number of people, virtually all cisgender women, who made heavy use of Facetune apps and surgical enhancements was a bit dismaying. Picture a sea of red, pink, blonde hair, and endless middle-fingers and "loser" signs flipped to the camera, complete with snarky captions and reimbursement links. There were many Black and Latinx and Asian dommes, but the majority appear to be British or American, slender, and large-hipped, clad in lace and stockings. Findoms talk about eating out at restaurants, going for drinks, clubbing with the girls, or going shopping, and all on subs' dimes. Prominent "TRIBUTE BEFORE DM" labels appear on bios.
Behind the scenes, though, it's a different story. In the domme chat, even women with several hundred followers - a lot by findom standards - said they had few or no consistent subs. Some said that even timewasters weren't pestering them anymore. Behind the scenes, many also discussed being bi and pansexual, broke, dealing with health issues - and even more. Art projects, interests in history and archeology, the opiod epidemic - all of these topics were fair game, and it made for rich and delightful discussions. Although the goddesses portrayed fairly controlled, sneering brat personas on the outside, they were far more rich and interesting people behind closed doors. However, all of us were honest about being far more broke than we pretended to be. Not unlike multi-level marketing scams, the advice passed around was, "fake it till you make it. The subs can smell desperation."
You'd think that submissive people, even submissive men, would probably be meek, polite, and shy in their interactions. Not always so. Unsurprisingly, findom has a serious harassment problem; men who aren't even into financial domination (ostensibly) will sometimes walk into a domme's DMs and solicit nudes, or even offer romantic propositions. Admittedly, dommes don't always make it easy on themselves - while more experienced ladies tweet about how to have healthy relationships, find a good match, and nurture their subs, younger ones slam their followers who retweet and like posts without contacting them. There's also a common wisdom not to contact submissives - which subs themselves sometimes dislike, especially those who are shy.
But even apparently shy or desperate subs - most of whom seem to be British, European, or Indian - can turn on dommes in an instant. As usual, the most dangerous animal in this documentary is Man.
It's painfully common for subs to ask to serve a domme, then refuse to pay or delay payment as long as possible. They beg and plead for Kik humiliation sessions, video and voice clips, and roleplays - and some are very happy to demand more during the scene than they initially requested.
To be completely honest, this was the most hurtful thing I saw during my stint in findom - it certainly stung the most on a personal level. But you better believe I didn't let him know that.
But that's not all. Next, I'll have more stories and more gossip to dish from the findom honeycombs. Get ready; it's going to be messy.
Readers' Advisory: This post will contain allusions to sexual content and acts that may not be suitable for all readers and ages. Offensive language and slurs also appear in screenshots. Discretion is advised.
What are my rules?
First, I decided that I would be stringent about consent and checking in with any of my submissives. It's better to kill the buzz than kill the sub, after all. Second, I would not engage in play that ran the risk of injury or sickness without ensuring the sub was fully aware of and experienced with any types of play alluded to - such as CBT (cock and ball torture), bondage, and other more risky activities. Third, I decided I would not exploit any subs who seemed to be in an unhealthy relationship with financial domination, and that playing within financial safety perimeters would be part of my practice. Fourth, I wanted to check in with my subs and interact as genuinely as possible. Fifth, I would keep my real name and identity separate and undisclosed to submissives for my own safety and to prevent doxxing. Sixth, I would continue informing and checking in with my partner, Disarcade, and solicit his advice when necessary. (Communication is important, folks.)
That covered most of my concerns. I figured I could adjust as necessary. With that, I put on my metaphorical goggles and took the plunge into the wild, extremely wet, dirty world of financial and feminine domination.
Aesthetics
The main world of findom and femdom is not that different from beauty guru Twitter or Youtube - although there's probably more lingerie and more nudity, and definitely more spit and feet. However, the number of people, virtually all cisgender women, who made heavy use of Facetune apps and surgical enhancements was a bit dismaying. Picture a sea of red, pink, blonde hair, and endless middle-fingers and "loser" signs flipped to the camera, complete with snarky captions and reimbursement links. There were many Black and Latinx and Asian dommes, but the majority appear to be British or American, slender, and large-hipped, clad in lace and stockings. Findoms talk about eating out at restaurants, going for drinks, clubbing with the girls, or going shopping, and all on subs' dimes. Prominent "TRIBUTE BEFORE DM" labels appear on bios.
Behind the scenes, though, it's a different story. In the domme chat, even women with several hundred followers - a lot by findom standards - said they had few or no consistent subs. Some said that even timewasters weren't pestering them anymore. Behind the scenes, many also discussed being bi and pansexual, broke, dealing with health issues - and even more. Art projects, interests in history and archeology, the opiod epidemic - all of these topics were fair game, and it made for rich and delightful discussions. Although the goddesses portrayed fairly controlled, sneering brat personas on the outside, they were far more rich and interesting people behind closed doors. However, all of us were honest about being far more broke than we pretended to be. Not unlike multi-level marketing scams, the advice passed around was, "fake it till you make it. The subs can smell desperation."
Subs: secret predators?
You'd think that submissive people, even submissive men, would probably be meek, polite, and shy in their interactions. Not always so. Unsurprisingly, findom has a serious harassment problem; men who aren't even into financial domination (ostensibly) will sometimes walk into a domme's DMs and solicit nudes, or even offer romantic propositions. Admittedly, dommes don't always make it easy on themselves - while more experienced ladies tweet about how to have healthy relationships, find a good match, and nurture their subs, younger ones slam their followers who retweet and like posts without contacting them. There's also a common wisdom not to contact submissives - which subs themselves sometimes dislike, especially those who are shy.
But even apparently shy or desperate subs - most of whom seem to be British, European, or Indian - can turn on dommes in an instant. As usual, the most dangerous animal in this documentary is Man.
It's painfully common for subs to ask to serve a domme, then refuse to pay or delay payment as long as possible. They beg and plead for Kik humiliation sessions, video and voice clips, and roleplays - and some are very happy to demand more during the scene than they initially requested.
To be completely honest, this was the most hurtful thing I saw during my stint in findom - it certainly stung the most on a personal level. But you better believe I didn't let him know that.
As mentioned, some submissives also try to trick dommes into roleplaying with them.
***
Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer and editor. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partner-in-crime and Max the cat. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and learning too much. She is currently working on other people's manuscripts, the next books in her series, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible.
