When last I left off, I described a few terms and communities that I'll be referencing throughout this series. From the basics, let's go deeper. It's hard to understand a scam without knowing how the system is supposed to work. Buckle up. It might get weird.
Now, to explain how the scams work, let's start with the legitimate side of the community.
This post will cover adult themes and concepts. I will try to be discreet and tasteful, but after this point, expect allusions to BDSM and sexuality. Reader discretion is advised.
One of the most interesting things about the sugar daddy community/concept is that it seems as though scammers make use of both the widespread familiarity with the concept, and the lack of actual personal knowledge of sugar daddies. There is a definite and distinct code of conduct that people are supposed to follow - for example, never demanding nudes, being polite, and not demanding bank logins.
Sugar daddies, in contrast, don't seem to band together as much, and appear to take a more dominant role in the interaction than the Paypigs. There's a fair bit of hay made and ink spilled on the controlling nature of sugar daddies, and many people who assume the entire field is too dangerous or degrading to enter will point to such stories.
This is even more ritualised in the financial domination community. Curiously, I noticed an overlap between Red Pill terminology (beta, alpha, cuck, etc) and feminist language. Financial submissives - who were almost entirely men - would enthusiastically allude to giving money to women and empowerment. The corollary of this is that Dommes, and the occasional Dom, would talk about how attractive they feel and complement themselves. Selfies with butt and cleavage closeups or leg shots were common enticements. Although the Dommes appear to talk about feminist issues less, they do seem fluent in the insulting terminology preferred by the submissives.
The community appears tightly-knit, eager to share, welcoming, and surprisingly cheerful and warm. Although accustomed to this kind of high-energy friendliness from exposure to other BDSM communities, seeing the enthusiasm of these financial submissives surprised me.
One might expect an Amazon Romance-type of situation - a youngish or zaddy-type attractive guy with millions of dollars and nothing to do with them - but from what I could tell, it seems like financial submissives actually have a variety of different jobs. Although large sums were tossed around in conversation - a thousand dollars, 20K, more - most actual financial domination is in the tens or hundreds of dollars per go, not thousands. This suggests that men with relatively normal jobs may be interested in the fetish, and that Dommes have moderated their prices accordingly. This makes a certain amount of sense, because fetishes rarely develop based on affordability alone.
In terms of what submissives like, there was a strong emphasis on chastity, tasks, and cuckoldry; worthlessness and enthusiastic grovelling, as well as self-humiliation, were common among the profiles and tweets. Again, some of the allusions to feminism and exploitation almost looked sarcastic - but most appeared very enthusiastic and sincere.
Although I did see some chatter about fake submissives and fake Dommes, I don't know what distinguishes the one from another yet. I would assume it's a case of someone pretending to be a Domme, demanding money, and then cutting off contact rather than actually providing the fantasy experience a submissive is seeking out.
In terms of scamming daddies, however, the search was much more fruitful. But this is running long, and I'll get to that in the next section. Stick around! I have a few suggestions and things that aspiring sugar babies and financial dominatrixes should watch for.
Now, to explain how the scams work, let's start with the legitimate side of the community.
Disclaimer
This post will cover adult themes and concepts. I will try to be discreet and tasteful, but after this point, expect allusions to BDSM and sexuality. Reader discretion is advised.
Sugar daddies vs Paypigs - what's the difference?
One of the most interesting things about the sugar daddy community/concept is that it seems as though scammers make use of both the widespread familiarity with the concept, and the lack of actual personal knowledge of sugar daddies. There is a definite and distinct code of conduct that people are supposed to follow - for example, never demanding nudes, being polite, and not demanding bank logins.
Sugar daddies, in contrast, don't seem to band together as much, and appear to take a more dominant role in the interaction than the Paypigs. There's a fair bit of hay made and ink spilled on the controlling nature of sugar daddies, and many people who assume the entire field is too dangerous or degrading to enter will point to such stories.
This is even more ritualised in the financial domination community. Curiously, I noticed an overlap between Red Pill terminology (beta, alpha, cuck, etc) and feminist language. Financial submissives - who were almost entirely men - would enthusiastically allude to giving money to women and empowerment. The corollary of this is that Dommes, and the occasional Dom, would talk about how attractive they feel and complement themselves. Selfies with butt and cleavage closeups or leg shots were common enticements. Although the Dommes appear to talk about feminist issues less, they do seem fluent in the insulting terminology preferred by the submissives.
The community appears tightly-knit, eager to share, welcoming, and surprisingly cheerful and warm. Although accustomed to this kind of high-energy friendliness from exposure to other BDSM communities, seeing the enthusiasm of these financial submissives surprised me.
Financial submissives - who are they?
One might expect an Amazon Romance-type of situation - a youngish or zaddy-type attractive guy with millions of dollars and nothing to do with them - but from what I could tell, it seems like financial submissives actually have a variety of different jobs. Although large sums were tossed around in conversation - a thousand dollars, 20K, more - most actual financial domination is in the tens or hundreds of dollars per go, not thousands. This suggests that men with relatively normal jobs may be interested in the fetish, and that Dommes have moderated their prices accordingly. This makes a certain amount of sense, because fetishes rarely develop based on affordability alone.
In terms of what submissives like, there was a strong emphasis on chastity, tasks, and cuckoldry; worthlessness and enthusiastic grovelling, as well as self-humiliation, were common among the profiles and tweets. Again, some of the allusions to feminism and exploitation almost looked sarcastic - but most appeared very enthusiastic and sincere.
Is this legit?
Although I did see some chatter about fake submissives and fake Dommes, I don't know what distinguishes the one from another yet. I would assume it's a case of someone pretending to be a Domme, demanding money, and then cutting off contact rather than actually providing the fantasy experience a submissive is seeking out.
In terms of scamming daddies, however, the search was much more fruitful. But this is running long, and I'll get to that in the next section. Stick around! I have a few suggestions and things that aspiring sugar babies and financial dominatrixes should watch for.
***
Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer and editor. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partner-in-crime and Max the cat. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and learning too much. She is currently working on other people's manuscripts, the next books in her series, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible.
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As always, be excellent unto others, and don't be a dick.