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Author of queer, wry sci fi/fantasy books.

Friday, 30 August 2019

Political Oroboros: Why Marx Is Not Enough


First of all, I realise the title of this piece is inflammatory, so let me lay out some caveats.

I am absolutely not conservative. (One of the first things to know about leftist fighting and discussions online is that 'liberal' has two different meanings; the broad sense in which conservative commentators use it, and the more specific and technically correct sense that leftists sometimes use it - as well as the tertiary sense of, "anyone who isn't quite radical enough.')

I wouldn't necessarily call myself a liberal in the sense of condoning a capitalist system; I do find the most common ground with proponents of democratic socialism. However, some elements of communist ideology do seem solid, although I tend to like many of the ideas I've seen from anarcho-syndicalists more.

Confused by those terms? You're not alone, but some of the hippest trends among the youth of today are not just trap music and street wear - it's political and philosophical discourse. Different streams of communism and anarchism and debating the concepts of idealists through the ages is pretty great, but treating those ideas as a firm road map and, perhaps, the only acceptable solution or map, is not so excellent.

After several weeks of careful surveillance and investigation, I also came to some unsettling and unsavory conclusions.

Source 

There's a weird and disconcerting mix of progressive and regressive ideas in this new wild west of a political movement; using "gay" and "retard" as insults in this year, and talking about second-wave feminist gender concepts (Penis =  man! Vagina = woman! are not scientifically validated ideas anymore, even if they have held sway for a long time) as though they're based on reality is...a special kind of confusing, frankly.

The person mentioned below isn't actually the "leader" of Antifa (antifacism is a general belief and approach, not an organization; the Black Bloc is something different) but the points they're making shouldn't actually have to be made. And yet, here we are. (To clarify: this person's opinion is, as far as I'm concerned, correct, because it's a summary of historical facts.)




We can try to tweak the perspective on things and change the way someone is seen, but facts have this tendency to assert themselves. And when those facts take the form of thousands of dead bodies, politely covering them up or scootching them out of the way is a bit harder. In the case of leaders such as Winston Churchill, it's been easier to laud their successes and forget the death toll because they were victorious, but it doesn't erase his contributions to the Bengal Famine and his decision to test gas weapons on Kurdish villagers.

Yet even when we debate the value and leadership of dictators, history tends to reassert itself.

“History isn’t like that. History unravels gently, like an old sweater. It has been patched and darned many times, reknitted to suit different people, shoved in a box under the sink of censorship to be cut up for the dusters of propaganda, yet it always—eventually—manages to spring back into its old familiar shape. History has a habit of changing the people who think they are changing it. History always has a few tricks up its frayed sleeve.” ― Terry Pratchett, Mort

Nobody is good enough


Of course, just because someone agrees with history (!) and is willing to unflinchingly consider mass murderers as guilty of their crimes doesn't mean they'll avoid participating in the cannibalistic discussions of leftist politics. A particularly difficult issue has been criticism of the Youtuber Contrapoints, who has both been lauded for her very real effects in de-radicalizing extremists, and criticized for fumbling her way through understanding non-binary genders (and struggling to deal with the flood of online criticism afterwards.) But merely liking a figure who is problematic (or worse, Trash, if they have failed one time too many) can be grounds for a friendship breaking up or the sort of extremely tense, stressful discussion that keeps one awake for hours afterwards.

As I said on Facebook one night, "Whiny comment of the night: it would be easier to unite the left if the radicals weren't so dead-set on everyone just converting to their beliefs as much as possible.And Seems like you can learn about Marxism, cultural history, feminism, and all of that...but it's impossible to unlearn American cultural hegemonic approaches and seeing violence as the default/best option."

But to clarify, this isn't speculation without sourcing. I did a bit of an investigation into a few leftist pages, and it was really unnerving to see the number of pro-gun and "eat the rich" and "fetch the guillotines" sorts of remarks and posters. The thing is, we've all done that dance before, and it's going on in other countries at the moment. Riots and protests are excellent when they work, but sometimes, they don't - and we don't talk about what happens when they don't.

The risk of small government


At the risk of sounding like a cranky old lady, smaller governments are still governments. People who think some military junta of kids with guns can replace all the architecture and organizational levels of "the state" are welcome to try working in a city planning office as an admin assistant some time. Having done that myself, I would welcome anyone who wants to just replace and rewrite all those land laws, which by the way exist for reasons, to maybe take a civil engineering course or two.

And if you DON'T want to replace all that architecture, just get rid of the bad stuff - congrats, that's actually just reformism, which is still a far cry from "just accepting things the way they are."

As a fan and casual scholar of cults, I've had many opportunities to see examples of small, ideologically-driven communities turn rotten. Frankly, I wouldn't trust my own town to just secede and govern itself, even though I'm very pleased with our mayor's decisions. I know too much about white people and sociology and Christianity (as well as other religions and groups) to trust that small, self-governing, autonomous groups will be fine on their lonesome. We're kinda in a globalized society with many, many supply chains. If you don't like that, get working on a time machine.

Yet even if one were to travel back in time, we've always had international trade and whatnot, and isolationism has never worked especially well. Also it's how you get fascism in the first place, so...history says it's how you make the exact monster you're trying to fight. Worst of all, these defenses of fascists and murderers do nothing but divide us along sectarian points of conflict.





What do we do? 


Honestly, my approach lately has just been to ignore Leftbook and debate spaces and not engage. Trying to discuss theory and concepts has led to some arguments over the applications of violence that have, honestly, made me stop trusting and just lose certain friends altogether. One otherwise brave and locally committed person said, "violence is neither good nor bad. It's a tool." Although I agree that self-defense actions are not exactly violent, I just don't think we should glorify aggression, or be eager to shed blood. It tends to lead to bad results, and it's uncomfortably similar to the stance we're opposing. My take?

Personally, I don't trust anyone who thinks the problems will all be fixed if we just kill a few of the right people.

The people who sit around day-dreaming about 19th century revolutionaries aren't necessarily the ones helping to, say, actually fight the battles that need fighting here and now. It may seem ridiculous to say, "hey, watch out for this," and also, "but you can basically ignore it," but frankly, that approach has worked extremely well for me in real life.

The key is this. What do you want to accomplish, in practical terms? Forget about "praxis" and "theory"; what are the concrete, fundamental changes you want to see, and the results you want in society and your community? Every change comes incrementally. Evolution is unavoidable. However, we have an existing system that we can use - and dare I say it, that we can apply our strength to if we're determined enough.

How to change the world 


Writing actual letters to politicians in my city, province, and country, engaging in the community fight for preservation of a local Safe Consumption Site, signing petitions for various environmental protection causes, and applying pressure to politicians, as well as keeping an eye on actual local white supremacists, fascists, and extremists has done more and had a greater impact than anything in my decade or so of arguing with people on the internet.

My only regret is that I didn't start using my skills in the real world much, much sooner. It turns out that all the people who insist that those in power won't listen to "us" are, unequivocally, wrong. And while I do have white and cis privilege to thank for some of my results, I would also argue that we on the left must not presume our own helplessness and confine ourselves to training arenas online.

Get out there. Talk to politicians. Stay up to date on the news and follow multiple sources, rather than reading 150-year-old essays. And above all, embrace the power of both individual actions and solidarity.

I have more to say about this topic, but instead of creating another series, a few essays may be cropping up. Until then, however, I have real work to do, both in the political world and out of it. For one thing, books aren't going to finish themselves!


***
Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer and editor. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partner-in-crime and Max the cat. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and learning too much. She is currently working on other people's manuscripts, the next books in her series, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible.

Find her all over the internet: * 
OG Blog * Mailing list * Magpie Editing * 
* Amazon * Medium * Twitter * Instagram * Facebook * Tumblr * Paypal.me * Ko-fi


Friday, 23 August 2019

Instagram: A Thot Experiment

Recovering from mental health problems to any extent is kind of a weird feeling. Being able to function again - or more - is strange enough that I'll have to talk about it at length some time, but I haven't refined those thoughts yet.

However, I have been able to clean and move things around, and dress differently - and that's changed my perspective. So, to the best of my ability, here's some stuff I've noticed and some advice I've gathered.



How's it look? 



It makes a big difference to feel good about where you live, and watching DIY videos often show me nicely decorated spaces. In addition, tiny house and interior decorating videos often provoke not envy, but provide inspiration.

Tumblr and other visual-media based social networks, Facebook included, are notorious for inspiring envy. Instead, it should inspire fellowship and aspiration. I like haul videos and diy videos - have learned a few tricks, and just making the jump from seeing to trying something can make a huge difference.

A great way to improve your surroundings affordably is to use Facebook Marketplace, Kijiji, or thrifting. This can take time, but it's about the same as shopping online, and can often be much cheaper. You'd be surprised what you can find, and it's often in good shape.

Some basic suggestions 


Tiny houses are cool not because they're small, but because they make use of innovative storage  techniques. Any space - including, say, a mobile home or extremely modest two-bedroom apartment - can feel big and clean if you plan it out.

Make use of nooks and crannies, and get as many shelves as you can. Remember, wall decorations don't have to be pictures - you can stick up a rack to hang jewelry, or stick floating shelves up for even more storage, or to display a curio like an enameled plate.

A healthy way to change up or enrich your space is to add some plants; spider plants or succulents have become popular because they endure even the most forgetful gardener. However, fake plants are a good way to split the difference on this.

The secret sauce of good decorating appears to be color-coordinating your space as best as you can and using lots of baskets and boxes for storage. It keeps things from looking messy and makes it easier to clean. Of course, you still have to organize the contents, but it's progress.

We all love blankets and pillows, and blankets and throw pillows are a great way to both make a place look seasonably comfy and add some decor. If your couch has been attacked by a cat or your furniture otherwise needs repair, a throw blanket also hides a lot of sins. Rotating them by color is a good idea, and a relatively easy way to both redecorate and maximize your comfiness.

Fabric is a fundamental of organizing and decorating space, and adding or changing your curtains can make a huge difference. Thrifting or reusing scarves or panels of fabric is a good way to fancy up a space. Got something with a cool pattern? It's now a wall-hanging, and it'll reduce the echo in your space, too.

Maybe you don't have a curtain rod. No problem. Sticking up curtains with rounded pins from a dollar store is a great way to make the thumbtacks look fancier without having to install hardware.  As well, a thin curtain makes for a surprisingly great room divider. It can also be used to soften a harsh light, as in the case of the blue curtain over my very yellow office light. Anyone with mobility issues might need a friend or partner's help to get curtains up, but they can add a lot of privacy and help create changeable "mini-rooms."

Also, don't feel constrained by the intended purpose of a room. A living room can be a dining room, and anything can be an office - even a storage closet. With the addition of shelves for clothes, a storage closet can also (if you're a clothes horse like me) become a walk-in closet.

Walls are your best friend; when it comes to decorating or moving things around in a room, start at the walls and work inwards, trying to leave the middle free. Be aware of the traffic of each room. As long as you can all move around, what else matters?

Isn't decorating exhausting? 


This may sound like a lot of work, but the key is working with whomever you live with you get it done. Whether you have roommates, a spouse, children, extended family, or all of the above, it's important to be allies in making your living space mutually pleasant.

It's also a great way to bond with people and feel allied with one another. It's much easier to be agreeable when you feel united and as though you have things in common. Talking about what you like to look at is a good way to start on this.

What's this got to do with Instagram?


Instagram - along with, to some extent, TikTok, Snapchat, and other visually-based social media platforms - is known for its performative aspects. But when we look at people doing stuff, showing off and sharing their best moments, what we should take away is not envy, but aspirations and strategies.

I've never had this envy problem for some reason, but I think I've figured out why. My approach to seeing other people's vacation photos or selfies is fundamentally different. What I take away from Instagram is simple - wanting to go on adventures, take pictures of myself and friends, bake things, and make things.

Instead of envy, try to think of how to make things happen in your own life. Neat makeup technique? Just try it, and laugh off the mistakes. Pretty drawing? It's worth trying to copy it or draw something different, even if you think you'll fail. Failure builds the bones of skill. And above all, do your best ot go outside. Adventures don't have to be expensive - you can take pictures of a walk around your neighborhood, through your favorite park, through a new park, or try a new cafe. Another great way to feel fancy is make yourself a little pack lunch. maybe it's just some veggies and a sandwich, but if you cut it up and arrange it nicely for yourself, it will feel special
.
Enjoy the moments that compose undertaking an action. Taking pics of yourself smiling or while doing even ordinary activities, like having a coffee with friends or walking the dog, will help you remember times more and make them seem brighter both in the present and the future. Little goals, like getting a mirror in the hall or putting up some curtains, can make a huge difference.

And remember - it's never too late to do something nice that you've been putting off. Self-care doesn't have to cost money to be useful or valid. Sometimes, it's as simple as switching out your pillows and blankets and putting up a little fall decor - because you finally can.


***
Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer and editor. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partner-in-crime and Max the cat. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and learning too much. She is currently working on other people's manuscripts, the next books in her series, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible.

Find her all over the internet: * 
OG Blog * Mailing list * Magpie Editing * 
* Amazon * Medium * Twitter * Instagram * Facebook * Tumblr * Paypal.me * Ko-fi

Wednesday, 14 August 2019

Game of ZZZs: How Long Stories Ruin Everything

I've been putting this one off because I was kind of busy writing an 18-part series deep-dive involving journalism and undercover work, but since Lindsay Ellis has released her video essay conclusion, I have finally put my thoughts in order.





So, today we're going to talk about something contentious. I have no issue with books being long, or shows being long, or movies being long - but at the same time, I do. And yes, I know some people adore epic scale stories for their own sake.  Not everything needs to be a thousand-page-long ten-book series with three spinoffs and prequels. Oh, sure, market forces and advertising play a role in this, but creators still participate in it.

But sometimes a story isn't long because it needs to be, it's long because the writer thinks it HAS to be. From my personal experience as a reader and writer, and especially as an editor, I've come to some conclusions about how stories are artificially extended. And in a world of global warming and climate change, shouldn't we be fighting waste everywhere, on every level?

Now, a certain show ended its eighth season not long ago; Big Bang Theory came to a whimper of a close after ten seasons, and Veep - which I only heard about towards its grand finale, alas - has also finished up a seven-season run.

I'm not saying all of these shows participated in various errors. I'm saying pretty much every show, book, and movie series will partake in them eventually. So how do we do better than the bad ones, and how do we echo or even improve on the good ones? We can't fight what we don't know about, so let's get into it.

Spacing


Everything happens, but not right away. No, the important events are distanced from each other, to the point where there are long stretches of dead zones or deserts of nonsense in between them. I'm not talking about character interactions as nonsense here, but unfortunately, a lot of authors seem to think that they count, and that human drama isn't interesting enough to be a climax. Older fantasy works--cough, cough, Wheel of Time--can be particularly bad about this. The problem with spacing out events and using human drama between the big McGuffin/army-driven fights is that readers get frustrated by the human drama rather than finding it rewarding. Or worse, they find the army and McGuffiny-crap a distraction from the human stuff.

Padding


I know about this issue from the inside. Bad Things that Happen to Girls started off as a book called Foreverland, and then was untitled for a while before getting its current name. It went through two full rewrites before arriving at its current published form. When I wrote it at first, I thought it absolutely had to be a long novel, with lots of details about the girls' lives and a slow-burn breakdown, then an extended road trip in the middle and a bunch of scenes about their experiences in university.

I didn't realise I was padding it, but when I experimented with radically decreasing the timeline of events, I had a revelation. I didn't need years and paragraphs on paragraphs chronicling their lived experiences, full of pointless dialogue and meandering descriptions. All I had to do were give little samples and important moments, and that would get the idea across. Sometimes a flash reveals more than a long exposure shot, to put it in cinematic terms.

Cramming


EVERYTHING MUST HAPPEN AND IT MUST HAPPEN NOW AND HERE ARE TEN NEW CHARACTERS AND A NEW SUBPLOT AND HOLY CRAP WE MUST MAKE UP FOR WRAPPING UP TOO MANY THREADS AT THE END OF THE LAST SEASON OOPS.

The caps lock here was entirely necessary and appropriate, because with cramming, the story often feels like it's shouting at you. (Probably in German.)

The biggest problem with cramming, too, is that it requires glossing over things. If readers get interested by a small detail, they might end up screaming, "wait, go back!" long after the author's moved to another topic, or three other topics. Finding the balance between this and padding can be tricky, but the best solution I can offer is "external perspective." Get someone to read over your work, and when they lose attention, that's time to cut. It's a trick I often use with editing manuscripts - the minute my attention wavers, I mark it, just in case.

Crashing


this tends to happen to shows that have lived past their expiry date. Supernatural is a fine example of this. This is where "shark-jumping" tends to come into play; characters do things that go against their nature and development for the sake of jump-starting a narrative or adding some excitement.

Oh, the shark-jump. That's worth a mini-section of its own. Honestly, most shows either end or jump the shark in order to keep going. There's no such thing as a perfect writer or a perfect story; mostly because these things are subjective, but partly because keeping all the balls in the air for a story is just plain hard.

Endless escalation 


Science fiction authors are prone to this, and so are epic fantasy authors. In an effort to keep reader interest, stakes rise and rise and rise, and then lose sight of the human scale of things. The problem is that stories are made of people, and if you forget about the people, you don't have a story anymore.

As with Cramming, this can lead to glossing over interesting bits as well. The full impact of a big change or shift isn't always felt if we rush to the next big, shiny thing. In real life, though, long-reaching consequences of events can have ripples for decades or even centuries. The Magna Carta was a big deal when it was signed; the effects of the Spanish Inquisitions, the Crusades, the unification of China (which happened more than once), the Viking cultural expansions, and the colonization of North America (by which I mean the land-theft and genocide of Indigenous peoples) are all still talked about to this day.

Bad things that happen to characters need room to resonate. PTSD and trauma are not only interesting, they're natural, and even when people mostly recover from them, they leave a lasting impact. Let your characters get wrecked by something. Have characters reference things that have happened. Let characters get fatigued, collapse, and have to fix themselves. It'll not only demonstrate the actual impact of your events, it'll keep you from having to throw together another big, shiny thing to make the story more exciting (looking at you, Avengers series and mainstream comics).

So, what tends to actually cause these writing techniques behind the scenes?

Burnout or boredom


One of the most difficult and important factors - one which arguably contributed to the absolute mess that was the GoT finale - is just getting tired of your own damn story. When this happens, authors and creators will end up trying to revamp something with weird new twists partly to keep themselves interested, might engineer an awkward left turn to justify a foreshadowed plot element, or might just do a half-hearted wrap-up of the previous plot elements.

Here's the thing - audiences don't always consume stories at the same rate as authors write them. Many times, readers or viewers will stumble on a work and binge it in a relatively short time, so what took years for the writer will take months, at most, for the consumer. This can make tonal clashes very jarring.

In other cases, an author will abandon a series due to writer's block or life events - a sin of which I, cough, am guilty - and then try to pick it up later. This will still impact the story, often negatively. Maybe one has just gotten well and thoroughly tired of the subject matter, or it's been done to death in the popular sphere. It doesn't really matter - either way, authors are subject to the world around them, and sometimes, the only way to deal with burnout or boredom is rotating to another project. That's fine - the only issue comes when the first project is completely abandoned, and languishes, unfinished.

Societal changes and personal development 


I'm combining these two because the world around us affects us, and sometimes, we even affect the world. If you'd told me that Donald Trump and Boris Johnson were going to rise to power during my lifetime, I wouldn't've believed you. To many, it sounded like a bad dream. Well, here we are, and the long night has not yet come to an end. Using art to cope with dark times and critique them is a long-celebrated human trend, and there's no reason to stop now. Sure, we might fear our work aging poorly - but stories that try to be timeless always age anyhow, and an earnest time capsule often lasts longer, because it can tap into the problems of an era (which echo forward, as discussed in the section above).

If you'd told me that I'd be able to deal with my family issues in a more satisfactory way, I might have believed you - but realising the impact of that on my writing both as a Game Master and an author is another matter. However, the additional perspective and maturity of healing has, rather than distancing me from characters' struggles, provided additional objectivity and even empathy. Fixing ourselves and healing doesn't "take away our artistic magic" - far from it. If anything, getting over issues unlocks the ability to deal with them in fiction much more effectively.

Disillusionment and insecurity


These are nasty brain demons, all right - perhaps one has taken a look at the broad span of one's work, compared it to one's goals, and feels they are just - well, left wanting. Every creator struggles with this at some point, whether crafting a story for a D&D party or for hundreds of readers or thousands of viewers. The only way to deal with it is with external perspective and turning to objective sources of both external critique and validation.

After all, we tell ourselves things that may or may not be true all the time, and measuring them against the perceptions of the audience can drastically correct things. Your readers might just be happy to see the characters get married - never mind that it took you five years to write about them getting together. And even if they don't like something specific or complain about it or nitpick - hey, they're coming back. You compelled them. Even if the readers, say, abandon their fandom and proclaim it a trashfire - they're still paying for or giving your story attention and money. And ultimately, from a marketing perspective attention is always neutral or positive - even if that attention is controversial - because it increases profits.

How do we even begin to fix all this? 


But.

All hope is not lost.

By acknowledging burnout, boredom, disillusionment, insecurity, personal development, and societal change - the factors which often lead to writing shortcuts detailed in the previous section - we can compensate for the natural creative struggles by accepting and anticipating them.

Try to write books in a series in a continuous stretch when possible, making it harder to lose track of the tone or style or character journeys. Plot things out, and get yourself a hands-on editor and/or extremely trustworthy beta-readers. And forgive yourself for screwing up - then get back to writing. At least, that's what I'm doing!


***
Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer and editor. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partner-in-crime and Max the cat. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and learning too much. She is currently working on other people's manuscripts, the next books in her series, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible.

Find her all over the internet: * 
OG Blog * Mailing list * Magpie Editing * 
* Amazon * Medium * Twitter * Instagram * Facebook * Tumblr * Paypal.me * Ko-fi


Monday, 5 August 2019

Stuff I Learned This Week: July 29th-August 4th, 2019


This week, I spent a lot of time on Youtube, but there's still some articles and podcasts in here.

- I didn't realise there was a Nordic Bronze Age, but apparently, there was!

- I wasn't familiar with this specific cult, but even though it's closer to the right-wing, it really demonstrates why I'm deeply leery of any group that eagerly suggests armament, seclusion, and control are the solution to violence.

- I now understand more about how interest rates and inflation work! And it wasn't even boring!

- One guy is mostly responsible for anti-immigration rhetoric's spread in the US, and it's all because he was a racist conservationist...

- Treasured son Daniel Mallory Ortberg has returned to writing nonsense on the internet!

- For those unaware that I have a Youtube channel, well, now you know! It's honestly just a playlist channel, and I sometimes use it for social interactions. I've been considering dabbling with tiny little short films, but I tend to prefer taking pictures. Anyway, if you want to see more of what I'm learning, watching, and listening to, my Youtube playlists are updated pretty regularly.

- This song made me feel cool. There's just something about shoegaze (blurred vocals, mostly acoustic-based guitar rock from the 90s) that feels perennially fresh and raw to me. If you like it, the band Lush might be to your liking, as well as Hooverphonic! For a more old-school punk girl band vibe, The Regrettes are fantastic, and Charly Bliss has recently put out an absolutely fantastic album - think Metric, but a little more raw.

More on the relaxed electro-pop side is this song, which isn't that much of a new discovery (I've adored Tove Lo for ages), but which I have been utterly obsessed with this summer. However, another artist I've followed for a while, Robyn, also released a new album that's got the same light, sparing, yet still emotional 80s style.

On the jazzier side is this artist, Corinne Bailey Rae, known for "Let Your Hair Down." I'm a big fan of Motown, swing, and jazz, and she may become a welcome addition to my various playlists. Her voice flows like honey and fresh water.




- I also learned why a rare type of honey, bonsai, and Italian marble are so expensive! And that lobsters are cannibalistic if confined...

- Tiger populations are rebounding - yet another case of a conservation program being wildly successful and effective.

- Electric car technology is looking fantastic! Cleaning microplastics from our waterways is another struggle that may have just gotten a solution. Teen activist Greta Thunberg, an amazing inspiration, is bringing her show to the States, part of her push towards a carbon-neutral world. I hope it gets serious traction, and I'm excited to watch the effect on the American election.

- Scientists and anthropologists are pushing back hard on white supremacist myths and misappropriations. And writers are weaving marvelous visions of the future to reflect our complex history, too!

- Fox urine is apparently one of the worst-smelling things on the planet.

- this incredible Youtuber has made some great mini-documentaries about my neck of the woods!



- I finally know what a levee is, and why it's important!

- I also understand why clothing's gotten so cheaply made and crappy in the last few years.

- Black holes are really hard to understand, but now that famous picture makes more sense to me.


***
Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer and editor. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partner-in-crime and Max the cat. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and learning too much. She is currently working on other people's manuscripts, the next books in her series, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible.

Find her all over the internet: * 
OG Blog * Mailing list * Magpie Editing * 
* Amazon * Medium * Twitter * Instagram * Facebook * Tumblr * Paypal.me * Ko-fi

Wednesday, 31 July 2019

Risk vs Reward: Sugar Scams, Part 18

Well, this will be the last post in my findom series.

A quick note: if you or a loved one are experiencing a behavioural addiction, or you think you may be sliding towards it, seeking help from a registered psychologist and/or psychiatrist is strongly advisable. Counselling is great, and affordable options like Betterhelp.com and other outlets are an excellent way to deal with anxiety and other mental health problems. 


Today, I want to cover the ups and downs of findom and how it relates to other coping mechanisms - both healthy and unhealthy ones. I've been out of the scene for a while, but I couldn't leave this article unfinished, so here we are.

I've alluded to the issue of findom as an addiction previously. The men I spoke to would often talk about a compulsive need to send - an urge that had to be fought and dealt with through distractions and mental discipline. Even completely broke men were interested in the fetish - far from being merely the purview of rich men, it seems that the rich tend to be focused on in these stories. That completely ignores the experiences and reality of the fetish and related sex work - but that's nothing new; it's common to see reporting focus on those of means and the most extreme versions of stories, rather than the hard-scrabble and complex reality of things.


Can it be addicting? 


Yes, findom can be addicting - but that doesn't make it inherently morally wrong. However, the exchange of attention and power play for money may add an extra layer of risk. There is something about the combination of factors that appears to be intoxicating.

As far as the mechanics of addiction, however, findom more closely resembles shopping addiction - something I myself have experience with - or gambling than, say, "sex addiction" (which was not included in the DSM-V, despite heated debate on the topic). Although addiction to pornography is also under debate regarding its veracity, both sexuality and the use of pornography can fall under the diagnostic criteria of non-substance based addictions. 

With the caveat that this blog post does not constitute diagnostic criteria, and that it cannot and should not be used to provide a diagnosis, let me explain how behavioral addictions work. A behavioral addiction involves a compulsion to engage with a rewarding non-substance-based (as in, non drug or alcohol-based) behaviour, despite negative consequences to one's mental, physical, or financial wellbeing. These are sometimes considered impulse control disorders, but ultimately, they use the same neurological architecture as substance-based addictions, hijacking the brain's natural reward network.

Non-physical addictive processes include sensitization or desensitization - either an increased or a decreased response resulting from continued or long-term exposure to a behavior or substance (resulting in either an amped-up response to small amounts of the behavior or substance, or needing more of an activity or substance to get the same effect); tolerance of increasing amounts of a behaviour over time; withdrawal symptoms on cessation or decreased use of a behaviour (such as anxiety, insomnia, irritability, etc); psychological and social or interpersonal negative consequences as a result of the behaviour; damage to relationships (such as from hiding the costs of an addiction and deceiving a loved one); and of course, compulsive participation in and obsession over the behaviour.

As you might be able to tell from this (very, very brief) description, pretty much any behaviour can become unhealthy if it becomes a sole coping mechanism for dealing with other problems. As I experienced, one of the most dangerous and deceptive elements of an addiction is denial. Thinking something isn't really a problem, not recognizing how much time and money you're devoting to it, ignoring the effects it's having on your mental state and your life - these things really add up. Worse, an addiction feels like a treatment for an existing life problem, but the escape is only temporary - and does nothing to actually solve real life problems.

Of course, the problem with an addiction is that it doesn't actually make things better - it just distracts you from the pain or anxiety, while actually adding to the burden of problems to deal with.


But are all sex-related activities bad for you? 


The American Psychiatric Association and other bodies associated with the field have declared that, no, they aren't - for nearly all people, and arguably, all people to an extent - masturbation, sexual fantasies, partner activities, and other forms of sexuality are not only healthy and normal, they're basic human needs. There are a few completely asexual people who don't experience sexual desire, attraction, or even the urge to masturbate or fantasize under any circumstances, but even many asexual people, who may or may not experience sexual attraction at all (or to certain degrees), participate in some form of masturbation or fantasizing.

But to veer away from the dickering about sexual identity categorization, let's talk about the healthy thing I keep mentioning. Surprise! It's BDSM!

Fifty shades of therapy 

Unexpectedly, despite the portrayal of BDSM participants as "broken people" or "psychopaths" - thank youuu, Psychopathia Sexualis, you poisonous and outdated old bit of moralistic clap-trap - BDSM actually has therapeutic benefits.

Because consent and discussion are essential and inextricable components of the roleplay and scenes, they create and offer practice in communication skills. Talking about taboo subjects and having to outline one's precise expectations and needs has great value to ordinary life. Clearly communicating how much is good, too much, or on the borderline creates a practice of greater self-awareness for one's needs, preferences, and tolerance. It also creates opportunities for painful experiences in a safe environment. Human brains really like simulations and practice-runs for solving problems and dealing with them, which is one of the theories about why we dream, and is certainly one of the reasons we find fiction and roleplay games so compelling. (Incidentally, Dungeons and Dragons  also has been shown to create positive outcomes and provide opportunities to develop leadership and problem-solving skills. It's been used to excellent effect in both prisons and with school children!)

The thing about BDSM is that it provides a safe environment in which to experience pain and extreme sensations and emotions - unlike abuse, which occurs without consent, discussion, or healthy boundaries. In fact, it looks like BDSM actually makes you a healthier person through participation - and the mechanics of how and why it feels good are absolutely fascinating.

But not everyone is ready to or able to pursue BDSM in person, or has access to a dungeon and equipment - so for them, online pornography and roleplay often fill the gap.


So, is findom or porn addiction something to worry about? 


Ultimately, the answer to this is two-fold - a), seeking help for a behavioural addiction can be painful and embarrassing, but it's necessary for recovery, and should not be stigmatized; and b) there are people who make a lot of money from pushing certain moral perspectives about pornography, sex work, and conflating/associating all human trafficking with sex trafficking (even though sex trafficking makes up a small minority of human trafficking worldwide, being mostly composed of domestic services and agricultural labour). Unfortunately, even far left progressive ideologies have been infiltrated with anti-sex work rhetoric, including some Marxist circles and parts of feminism. (That's a discussion for another time - and believe me, it's coming.)

Ultimately, the salaciousness and fearfulness about financial domination tends to circle back around to very old motifs and storylines. The underprivileged and desperate woman trying to get by; the ignorant young girl trapped in a lifestyle by happenstance; the conniving, aging prostitute determined to shatter as many marriages and control as many men as possible as some form of revenge or sick fulfillment - these figures are, as always, more archetypal than realistic. Sure, they may contain hints of truth from time to time, but real human experiences can seldom be expressed with the thin and gaudy paper puppetry of sensationalised rhetoric.

Above all, if you want to pursue a fetish or interest, try to ask people in the world about how to stay safe. Google as much as you can, and try to pick peer-reviewed sites or those with established reputations when getting your facts - rather than, say, "RealChristianMoms.Com" or other spurious websites.

And remember - sex work is just work.


***
Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer and editor. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partner-in-crime and Max the cat. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and learning too much. She is currently working on other people's manuscripts, the next books in her series, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible.

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