EMERGENCY UPDATE

you know it's exciting because I'm using capitals....

And the Stars Will Sing is now out on Smashwords! Go buy it! Now! Here is the link:

And the Stars Will Sing

Enjoy! This is the SciFiMagpie, over and out!

Missed It: A Knight's Tale Review

I am a special kind of person. The kind who managed to miss such film classics as Top Gun, Casablanca, and Clueless in my childhood. So, from time to time I will post a quick review of movies and books I either a) miraculously missed or b) just discovered, and c) definitely think you should not miss. Or, sometimes, d) think you need to miss as hard as possible, because it is e) embarassingly mediocre or f) soul-scarringly, chew-your-own-nuts-off-to-escape awful.

Mediaeval Bestiary

Allegedly beavers would bite off their own nuts to evade hunters. That explains a lot about Canadians.

Tonight's feature is A Knight's Tale (2001), featuring Heath Ledger.
Summary: Poor dude impersonates rich master. A montage and some wacky happenings later, he jousts as a knight to win the heart of a girl he wants to bang. His fuckery is discovered, he is barred from competing in Ze Big Joust. He gets taunted, but the prince he conveniently saved from boredom knights him, making him eligible again. Dude defeats antagonist, wins the girl, and wins the tourney.

Pros: cute protagonist and seeing Alan Tudyk (you know, Wash from Firefly) and the dude from Dark City co-starring. Also lots of funny moments, a very sweet emotional one, silly rock soundtrack, and mediaeval fuckery.

Cons: Atrocious acting by Dark City guy, who decided that if less is more, then even more lessness is clearly more. Princess Peach, the love interest, somehow pulls off being bitchy, listless, AND bland. The American Dream message and irrelevant settings are ham-fisted in handling and annoying after a while. Also, severe historical fuckery, especially related to costumes.

Final Verdict: 8 out of 10 for unapologetic enjoyability. Goofy, feel-good fun with a few cute guys and girls. Great for movie marathons. Bad choice for days when you want some depth, but perfect for a light comedy with some over-the-top epic moments. Go watch it on Netflix. Seriously. As an added bonus, it is definitely not going to make you chew your own nuts off, unless you happen to be a scholar with a focus on History of the Middle Ages.

Stay tuned for more treats, because you know I'll be back with more brain wormholes and salt for your soul. And don't forget to share, find me on Twitter at SciFiMagpie, and check back regularly for more reviews, writing, and general fuckery!