Did you know that Chinook Phase is out?

 

Or at least, the first chunk of it is out! You can read the first 13 chapters, with a new one coming every week, on my Patreon or my Substack - and on Patreon, they're all free! (So far!)

That said, if you fall in love and want to kick a couple of dollars my way, that would be amazing.

What is Chinook Phase, you ask?

Well, it's the first novel in my cozy academia trilogy, a love-letter to my home town and university. Set in the early 2010s, it follows the multiple interwoven stories of a group of friends and frenemies, trying to sort out their love lives and friendships - and you know, maybe getting stabbed, drunk, or stalking each other along the way.

Follow Natalie, Charlotte, Kyla, Amanda, Rachel, and Greg through mishaps, heartbreaks, and disasters. Come for the gossip, stay for the friends-to-lovers and "I can make him worse" villain couple.

Check out the beautiful new face for the first novel!

SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL! Amazing work by Rachel A Rosen, Renaissance woman extraordinaire. Get your covers from her!

Anyway, so, catch my first Prairie Weather posts on Patreon or Substack!

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Creation of this project was made possible in part by the generous funding of the Canada Council for the Arts, and the author gratefully acknowledges their contribution.

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A writer and artist, Michelle Browne lives in southern AB with xer family and their cats. She is currently working on the next books in her series, other people's manuscripts, knitting, jewelry-making, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible. Find xer all over the internet: *Website * Amazon * Substack * Patreon * Ko-fi * Instagram * Bluesky * Mastodon * Tumblr * Medium * OG Blog * Facebook

How to Act Like An Editor--A Brief List (Part 3)

Hello hello!

So *blows dust from blog again* I've returned with yet another post about the world of writing--and in this one, I'm tackling my own special breed--editors.

In the event that you find yourself impersonating an editor, I have compiled a few handy tips to ensure that the deception is perfection itself.

How to Act Like An Editor

1. Frighten other writers. When you walk through a crowd, a cold shiver should run down the spine of every writer present. Doing a "murder walk" helps, but generally, people should just know that you are coming, and that you are a barely contained force of nature. 

2. Wear slightly tidier clothing than the writers--though you needn't be less weird. Red spots, ashes/cremains, and flecks of ink are allowed, as are the fingernails of the last client who pissed you off--but those last ones make better earrings, generally.

3. Alcohol and caffeine are no longer food groups--they run in your very veins. You have become the caffeine and alcohol. You bleed them, breathe them, emit them in a fragrant cloud. 

4. A cold, haughty laugh and thousand-yard-stare are a must. "I've seen things," you should murmur to yourself, whenever the topic of your work comes up. "I've seen things you cannot fathom. Are you frightened? You should be frightened."

5. Being more aggressive, blunt, and experienced than other writers is also important. Basically, you are the shit--but you don't need to advertise it quite as much as the bestsellers. When people walk into a room with you, they'll just know. 

6. Elucidate your issues with various style guides at length, even when other people have stopped listening and just want to beat you to death with the Chicago Manual of Style. 

7. Don't nitpick poor grammar on Facebook--leave the amateur grammar Nazis to do that. Save your bile for bloggers and news articles, and complain mercilessly about typos in bestsellers--but only in private. 

8. Be a hunter, not a scavenger--don't stalk authors on social media and threaten them with crappy reviews for missing a comma on page 81 of the Kindle edition, and repeating a period on page 275.

9. Let your writing career slide, because oops, work is important.

10. Be extremely forgiving with authors and writers at all levels--after all, it takes time to get this crap down, and everyone was a beginner once. Actually snobbishness has no place in the writing world. Every author deserves a second chance, and often, a third.

11. Write love letters to every punctuation mark and obsess over the effect of sentence structure on phrasing and emphasis. You alone understand how beautiful semicolons and Oxford commas and em dashes are. But that won't stop you from telling everyone else anyway.

12. No matter how many bad ones you read, never stop loving books. 

Next time--we'll return to our regularly scheduled programming of thoughtful, intellectual blog posts. Stay tuned!

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Thanks for dropping by the nest once again. Leave your comments, rebuttals, and vehement agreements below. Don't miss any of the phuquerie--get on the mailing list. Find Michelle on Twitter, Facebook, and on Tumblr, and find her work on Amazon. Check back on the blog to see when one of the irregular posts has careened onto your feed. This is the one and only SciFiMagpie, over and out! 

How to Act Like A Graphic Designer--A Brief List (Part 2)

Hello hello!

Shockingly, this week's update follows within a reasonable period of time. How very peculiar, eh? I'm hoping to get back to a more regular update schedule now that some of my medical issues are in better shape.

In the event that you find yourself impersonating a graphic designer, I have compiled a few handy tips to ensure that the deception is perfection itself.

How to Act Like A Graphic Designer

1.  Fonts. Fonts, fonts, fonts, fonts, fonts. Every conversation and walk, every casual browse on Facebook--it's all about fonts. The sizes, the textures, the colours, the serifs--you don't even read words anymore. You just see the way they're written.

2. Looking at advertising posters made by authors will hurt you. They don't know what they're doing wrong, but you know. You know, and you will bleed.

3. You are the fashionable younger sibling of a computer programmer. Even if you're an only child, pretend you're someone's younger sibling. By "fashionable", one merely means less dirty than a programmer, though not quite clean. A subtle sheen of grease is your natural state.

4. The grease may be a result of your diet. Ramen, Doritos, and mac and cheese are your main food groups. Lactose-intolerant? Celiac disease? That's okay, there will be no-one around to smell your farts.

5. Swear at pixels. A lot.

6. Caffeine makes up about 20% of your body weight at this point. Your cremated remains could be used to power several thousand high school students through their exams for the next ten years. You may be into the hard stuff--pills, powders, weird energy drinks you have to buy under the counter from patchouli-scented hairy people, or anything else suitably esoteric.

7. FUCKING PIXELS!

8. Seriously, another two hours and it'll be symmetrical. You swear.

9. What is sleep? No, really? You've forgotten how it works. It is a rumour, a legend, not a part of your life.

10. There is a purpose to your work, and no matter how many people give you a blank, confused look when you describe your job, they require your work to function on a daily basis.

11. The first thing people see when they look for a book is what you did. Not the words, but the picture. You don't have to remind authors of this--you just know, and you smile to yourself at night.


Next time--you'll learn how to impersonate an editor! Stay tuned!

***

Thanks for dropping by the nest once again. Leave your comments, rebuttals, and vehement agreements below. Don't miss any of the phuquerie--get on the mailing list. Find Michelle on Twitter, Facebook, and on Tumblr, and find her work on Amazon. Check back on the blog to see when one of the irregular posts has careened onto your feed. This is the one and only SciFiMagpie, over and out! 

Top Ten Indie Books of 2012

Hello hello!

Well, 'tis a new year and time for lots of lovely new books to read. There will be a Bioshock series review within the next week to explain why I'm currently aglow with admiration, but I couldn't pass up the chance to share the stage with more indie buddies.

I love books. I read like a demon and I love to talk about them, share opinions on them, and learn new things. In my driven efforts to improve as an author, I came across some really wonderful books last year. I could tell you about the classics I've read--such as Jules Verne's canon (read in English, not French), Les Liasons Dangereuses by de Laclos (ditto, and it was still gorgeous and erotic), or Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, but they are books known and well-loved. They don't need the extra press (though I urge you to go to the cheap classics section of Kobo or Kindle and load it up. You'll love me for it.) but I will probably do a short monograph on classics I love anyway. However, today belongs to the independent authors.

In addition to my own two new babies, And the Stars Will Sing and The Stolen: Two Short Stories, I'd like to list my top ten indie books of 2012. These are books that changed my perception of their genres. I laughed and cried and shivered in fear. Do not miss these. If you ignore every other list, you have to read these books.

In addition to generally good prose, they are also mould-breakers--characters are realistic, plots are good, and social justice issues are addressed in a readable way. This is the future of indie writing--katooey girls treated normally, fantasy novels that turn cliches on their head on purpose, new magic systems, and genre-bending style and panache. I can't wait for more from these authors, so get your credit cards and browse the list. You won't regret it. Oh, and don't forget to leave a review after you've fallen in love--they'll thank you for it, and you might inspire someone else to check out this awesomeness.

More information can be found on the reviews I left for the books--under 'SciFiMagpie' of course--but here's a quick rundown of why I loved these.

image credit goes to the Amazon page, obviously. Believe me, this book is so much more than an urban fantasy with a hint of romance. So very much more.

The Top Ten Independent Novels of 2012 


 1. Chris Shields' Fae Journals series. http://www.amazon.com/The-Steward-Weald-Fae-Journals/dp/0615691560/ref=cm_cr-mr-title

I loved this because of the protagonist, Maggie O'Shea. I won't lie--I picked it up and expected a crappy warmed-over urban fantasy novel where Downtrodden Girl gets the boy, the friends, and the magical powers. NOPE NOPE NOPE. Real character development, faults, a bit of humour, and (sigh of relief) a mythology system that was logical and didn't make me want to punch babies make this series a sure-fire winner. I predict that it'll be a modern classic eventually and urge you to read both The Steward and its even-better sequel, The Changeling. Maggie is a great role model and--I say this rarely--a person that I would really love to meet and hang out with outside her book.


2. JC Eggleton's Brookhaven. http://www.amazon.com/Brookhaven-Book-Fate-Series-ebook/dp/B0091DX32O/ref=cm_cr-mr-title

Those of you who follow the blog know that I interviewed the wonderfully creepy and clever JC Eggleton earlier in the year. Eggleton's eerie prose and cut-throat writing style offers new hope for the horror genre and I cannot wait for the next installment.


3. Clinton Boomer's The Hole Behind Midnight. http://www.amazon.com/The-Hole-Behind-Midnight-ebook/dp/B005Z8G08S/ref=cm_cr-mr-title

I really liked this one. It has an atypical but sympathetic protagonist who still manages to be a dick, some of the BEST exposition writing I have ever seen, and probably the best system of magic I saw last year. Delightful, and another book that will be getting a series, to my relief. Did I mention that until these writers, series of novels used to irritate me?


4. Richard Long's The Book of Paul. http://www.amazon.com/Book-Paul-Paranormal-Thriller-ebook/dp/B0088QYXGA/ref=cm_cr-mr-title

This one is another beacon of hope for the horror genre. I'd have to say Long's prose is some of the best I read in an indie book last year. Everything is slick and tight, and the gore has that special touch of just being under-described enough to really freak you out. It does get very dark and gritty, but it's so compelling. I really did hate myself a bit for liking the eponymous protagonist...but this will be, no kidding, a classic of horror in years to come.


5. J. Damask's Wolf at the Door series. http://www.amazon.com/Wolf-At-the-Door-ebook/dp/B004V51E0K/ref=cm_cr-mr-title

I generally hate urban fantasy that revolves around vampires and werewolves. This is one of two books on the list that has singlehandedly helped to redeem the genre and convince me to give it another shot. The dreamlike prose can be hard to follow, but the main character is realistic, sympathetic, and relatable--and again, I love this author's prose style. The sequel, Obsidian Moon, Obsidian Eye continues in the same vein and is even more badass. This gives feminist writers something real to aim for--not just crappy 'strong independent stereotypes'. Also, it's set in Singapore, and you will learn things about the country. How cool is that?

The pretty girl on the cover is only the tip of a dark and dirty iceburg. 

6. John Dolan's Everyone Burns. http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Burns-ebook/dp/B008I6GXM2/ref=cm_cr-mr-title

The wicked humour in this dark noire novel is matched only by its twists and turns. Dolan is another writer with really tight prose, and his descriptions of a small island off the Thai coast will make you sweat. Filled with beautiful katooey bar girls and plot-relevant educational info about Buddhism, the motifs in this book make it a literary-quality read with the deliciousness that pulp books aspire to. I usually dislike mystery novels, but I am dying for more from this author.


7. Travis Luedke's Nightlife series. http://www.amazon.com/The-Nightlife-York-Series-ebook/dp/B0090P1MIU/ref=cm_cr-mr-title

I hate vampires most of the time. I enjoy erotic content, sure, but erotic vampire novels usually give me the vapors and make me start looking for my crucifix, stake, and garlic. Dirty sex, a hardboiled crime plot, and the ability to take cliches balls-on and make them work characterize all three of Travis' novels. Shockingly, the vampire stuff works well and he understands the predatory nature a vampire is supposed to have, needs to have. Add in the fact that he captures the spirit of his cities pretty well, and that he doesn't write watered down, 50 Shades style BDSM. Finally, how about some characters with actual development and realistic relationships? I thought so. Get down with your bad self and buy it.


8. Jim Wright's New Yesterdays. http://www.amazon.com/New-Yesterdays-ebook/dp/B008JV98IM/ref=cm_cr-mr-title

The prose on this one has a few wobbly moments, but the written style is just too charming to pass up. I loved the warm Southern style. This is one of the only two truly YA friendly novels on the list, and the topic this author wrote about is even more daring because of its audience. What if the genocides perpetrated on First Nations people had never happened? What if they had been warned? The ending was NOT what I expected, and I am looking forward to the sequel to see where it goes from here.


9. Robert Carter's Sheer Purgatory. http://www.amazon.com/The-Nightlife-York-Series-ebook/dp/B0090P1MIU/ref=cm_cr-mr-title

I love British humour and this is a glittering example of the style. I really got plenty of thinking-material out of the moral system here, and I won't spoil it by going into detail. I will say, though, that it had a delightful way of confirming my feelings about god, the great bloody trickster.


10. Gary Dolman's Eighth Circle of Hell. http://www.amazon.com/The-Nightlife-York-Series-ebook/dp/B0090P1MIU/ref=cm_cr-mr-title

This book is about child rapists and the dark side of Victorian society. You have been warned. It's another book with literary style and proper use of motifs, and it is a damn hard read. I haven't had so much trouble getting through something since Eli Wiesel's Night, which almost broke me in gr. 12 English. However, I really think that other steampunk enthusiasts and fellow Anglophiles need to be aware of this painful and hidden chapter of history. It's ugly and it's dark, but the ending will make you tear up. Considering how many children are victimized to this day, this is a definite must-read.

BONUS--I know I said 'top ten' but I couldn't bear to leave this off.

This book will not go where you're expecting it to. You have been warned. You're welcome!

11. Robert Eaton's The Hero Always Wins. http://www.amazon.com/The-Hero-Always-Wins-ebook/dp/B005CMGZAU/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1357527689&sr=1-1&keywords=the+hero+always+wins

When I first started to read it I was very suspicious. I even rolled my eyes. Not another epic fantasy, I thought. When I hit the madness descriptions, I was intrigued enough not to drop it. Prepare for all the cliches to be ruthlessly turned inside out as well as embraced with the proper epic style. Don't miss this one--it deserves your attention and I guarantee you'll be surprised.


Well, that's the run-down...tune in next week for Bioshock analysis and more awesomeness!

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Thanks for dropping by the nest once again. Don't miss any of the good kind of crazy. Find me on Twitter, Facebook, and on Tumblr. Expect the usual hijinks--reviews, previews, some thinky-thinky bits where I get all societally analytical on your asses, and even some nerdgasm content. This is your darling SciFiMagpie, over and out!