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Showing posts with label missed it. Show all posts
Showing posts with label missed it. Show all posts

Sunday, 24 April 2016

Talking LED Fleshlights: Ex_Machina vs Her

Hello hello!

This is a sort of "Missed It" double-review while I work on the character follow-up to that Story Constellation post. Also, a content warning on this one--since it deals with ladies created by men, there will be some serious discussions of sexual abuse and emotional abuse in the discussion to follow. Reader discretion is advised. It's gonna be a long one, because I haven't blogged in ages.

From now on, I'm going to try a new format for Missed It reviews, which might work better for comparisons. It's called Good, Bad, and Ugly. How does it work? Well, take a peek!

Now, as always, these are reviews of films that have already been released (and have been out for a while, so prepare for


SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS 


past this point! First up is Ex_Machina!

Good

Well, at least it tries to open up the whole cerebral can of worms. The score is good, and the editing has that sloppy-unsettling thing going on that's pretty effective. And the visual effects and design, as everyone has commented, are both great. The tension is also very effective, and the actors give it their all. Ava's actress has mastered the delicate ballet dance of grace and fear, and her tiniest movements reflect a music box poetry that is utterly perfect for the role. The small cast makes for a tense and effective story. Everyone else has raved about it, and I was less than thrilled, so I'm going to skim over this bit.



Source. Basically, the movie is this.

Bad


 The film puts on airs of pseudointellectualism and a "pro-feminist" outlook, while drastically undercutting its own premise. I had a look at some other reviews online--something I try not to do--and noticed that the (all male) reviewers were gushing about how smart the movie was. But all of them seemed to miss the weird vibe of the tropes, icky themes that Sarah Dimento and Katie de Long, two of my mentors, noticed quickly.

First, the whole setup is made of toxic tropes. Nathan, the Mad Genius Who Works Alone And Is Therefore Weird And Quirky--playing into gross genius myths--is an abusive phuque. He gaslights Caleb, The Milquetoast Everyman, from moment one of his arrival. He's a repulsive though well-portrayed character, but quite over-written, and uncomfortably like a domineering boyfriend rather than a believeably smart inventor with 'troubling' personality traits. We do love to excuse monsters if they can portray and air of genius, though.

Second, the movie--and critics!--love to talk about how sinister yet sexy Ava is, and her personhood, and how she's a misunderstood femme fatale, using her wiles to survive. But that ignores the visual language of the story, which is more basic (no coding pun intended). Many other bloggers have gone into this ad nauseaum. Ava's design is overly sexualised For Reasons, but let's talk about how those patterns are demonstrated with her and with the beleaguered, abused Kyoko.

There's a grammar to the images: All Women are wired differently from men, they are artificial beings, and they--or femininity--have been designed. Both of them--Ava especially, though--demonstrate exaggeratedly cute performances of femininity, alternating between childlike innocence/obedience (bare feet) and sinister sexiness (spiky, laced stiletto heels). Kyoko's nudity is a sinister display; Ava's is coded as a self-discovery (that also lets the viewer take in a full-length serving of T&A, of course). They are both trapped in their circumstances, constantly being stared at by men--even "good boy" Caleb--and are both servile and rebellious, just enough to be "perfect".

Their only way out is to destroy men or refuse to serve them, either murdering them (as Nathan gets stabbed) or letting them be strangled and suffocated in the prison of the patriarchy with which they have collaborated (Caleb). It's ham-fisted at best, and while it's probably supposed to be acknowledging female suffering, using the super-sexualized language and extreme gender roles kind of undercuts Ava's decision to break out of Nathan's control. Even her self-discovery is done as he watches, and she wears bridal, virginal white and a pair of matching heels.

Ugly


Enough about Ava. Everyone talks about her struggle, but ignores the weird sexual dynamics with the other robot, Kyoko.

Kyoko is literally an objectified Japanese woman who acts as a servant and sexbot, and she does a weird strip-tease that involves peeling away her own flesh. At the end, Nathan even bashes away her lower jaw, making her voicelessness complete. She does watch the surveillance videos and stare at Caleb a lot--she may not be able to talk, but she sure seems to have feelings and opinions. This isn't enough to save her, of course. She's othered constantly, has a Japanese name plunked in a slew of Hebrew ones, and is defined only by her abuse or observation of the other characters. She's allowed no personhood, even by the director, that doesn't revolve around serving/being abused by men, or saving a white woman. In the end, a model with the same body and facial structure as Kyoko is cannibalized for Ava's new skin. Even in death, Kyoko's twin is scavenged for the "untainted", pure Ava,who never even pauses to consider fixing up Kyoko or bringing her back to life.

Not convinced that Kyoko is a servile plot device for Ava, or that Ava is locked in a Biblical narrative? Look at their names!

    A variation of Eve. May be from the Latin "avis," meaning "bird." It could also be a short form of the name Chava ("life" or "living one"), the Hebrew form of Eve. It was popularized as a girls' name by actress AvaGardner.
Looking up Kyoko's name led to even more obvious Symbolism. 

Possible Writings[edit]

The final syllable "ko" is typically written with the kanji character for child, 子. It is a common suffix to female names in Japan. The first syllable "Kyō" can be written several different ways, with different meanings.
  • 恭, "respectful,"
  • 今日, "of today,"
  • 鏡, "mirror,"
  • 響, "echo, can also mean influential,"

Is this trend congruent for the other two characters we see, Nathan and Caleb?

Nathan is a masculine given name. It is derived from the Hebrew verb נתן meaning to give (standard Hebrew Natan, Yiddish Nussen or Nosson, Tiberian Hebrew Nāṯān). The meaning of the name in Jewish culture could be rendered "he [God] has given" or "he will give".

The name Caleb is a Hebrew baby name. In Hebrew the meaning of the name Caleb is: Meaning dog, or bold. 

Well, Caleb was willing to agree that a being which seemed sentient needed to be 'tested' for humanity in the first place, so he's basically on the same level as the guys who insist that women aren't really people unless they can prove otherwise, or can act as objects of love and lust. I'm with Ava, here--might as well let him starve to death.

As far as simple aesthetic ugliness, there's some really stupid shock bits--the closet of sexbots made of parts, videos of Nathan abusing robotic women of colour, and self-harm when Caleb the paper-thin protagonist questions his own humanity. Caleb might as well not exist outside the experiment, and is there just for the sake of initiating the plot and providing an Everyman. The story could just as well have been told through security-camera angled footage as Kyoko and Ava broke out of captivity together, and focused on what happened as the two tried to integrate in a world full of human beings.

Add in the fact that the "experimental design" was at no point clear or good or scientific, especially given Nathan's constant interference with it. Throw in some technophobia as Nathan implies that Facebook (referred to as 'Bluebook') algorithms and surveillance were easily available for him to loot, pillage, and abuse. Mix with a serving of technobabble and the same grey/white palette we've seen elsewhere, and serve at room temperature. The future is scary, and apparently, men can invent a new form of life, but can't do it without abusing toy/pet women.

Final verdict: MEH. It made me think, but I wanted to heckle it. Four out of ten; I don't know if I'd watch it again.


Next up: Her!

Source. This is an actual thing that you can buy. 


Good


We already get more people of colour, and women, talking in the first few minutes of Her than in the entirety of Ex_Machina. There's also a Chris Pratt, which is always okay by me. 

The worldbuilding is done with Black Mirror-style technology, and it's interesting and great. The colour palette is lovely and more pleasant than Ex_Machina's, and unlike the relentlessly dreary Ex_Machina, I got some genuine laughs. Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlett Johansson sell their roles wonderfully. 

There's something about the story that really speaks to online friendships as well--sharing the world through conversation and pictures alone, but making a real connection nonetheless. In addition, Amy (a friend of Ted's) has a genuine relationship with him that is nurturing but not romantic, and that was such a refresher!

"The past is just a story we tell ourselves."--This is backed up by neuroscience, actually, and that story keeps changing with each retelling. 

From talking about lonely idiot kids online to expectations of motherhood in the form of a "perfect mom" game, to talking about how a perfect computer friend would start to slant expectations, there's a lot of subtle commentary. It's also a less technophobic take on AI, which is refreshing. 

One of the best things about the movie was definitely Samantha's development into a person. She is an artist, a thinker, and a scientist, and an independent spirit. She does not always make things easy. It's hard for me to be objective about problems with her character because I adored her. 


Bad


Twee music, a white mustachio'd mopey guy--Joaquin Phoenix in a hideous mustache--and self-centered writing. Sigh. I do have a soft spot for Manic Pixie Dream Girl reversal stories, and this is definitely one of those. But it still does require a girl who's basically perfect as the starting point, and even though said girl goes on to attain personhood, or reveals her personhood--it's always based on the white, nerdy, lonely guy's perspective in the first place. As usual, said nerdy lonely guy exists in a sphere full of crazy, skinny, quirky white ladies.

Being around "Her", Sam the AI (Scarlett), is what makes Ted (Joaquin)start being a better person. Does that mean people need love to fix themselves? He does actually get a chance to learn how to ask good questions from Sam, though, and that's an important skill. She does rub off on him, but it still plays into that "romance will fix you" thing.

There's a scene with an "OS Surrogate" that ends up being kind of awkward yet hilarious, and really gets into the realistic issues of a threeway that involves a couple. But it comes with a hefty dose of whorephobia ("What is she, a prostitute?" "No, no, nothing like that!") and ends up confirming that Monogamy Is Good. What if that whole bit had worked out? Would it really have been so bad for non-monogamy to get some representation?

This bears fruit later, as well, when Samantha confesses that she is in love with 641 other people and is talking to over eight thousand other people regularly. It makes sense that an AI would not be able to live within traditional monogamy.

Ugly


There's something about an amazingly average guy in a movie and the calibre of women offered to him--the more average he is, the hotter and more amazing the chicks that the plot thrusts before him.

I also really don't know how to feel about the sex scene--it's tasteful, I guess, but I sure felt embarrassed by the intimacy. ScarJo also has a voice similar to my cousin's, and that really threw me into the awkward zone. YIKES.

I guess the really haunting question is--as a woman who becomes real grows beyond her boundaries, is it okay that she started as a literal object? Objectification is one thing, but this is that, in reverse--in a way, at least.

The main character's wife, at a divorce meeting, throws in a few shots about how he 'wanted to put her on Prozac' and insulted him for 'dating a computer', but in context, it really fits into some negative stereotypes about relationships and genders. It's very awkward to hear characters going through emotionally avoidant patterns.

Later, this bears fruit because he does say some pretty emotionally abusive things to Sam--"maybe we're not supposed to be in this", and "you're not a person". He takes his feelings about his wife's rejection and criticism, and turns them at Samantha in a very hurtful way; then the movie makes it all about *his* problems. He does learn to be a better person, but only because the women in his life ease him into it.

Part of me wanted the film to be about Amy instead of Ted--about her breakdown with her human partner, and her development into a person. But I did love Ted and Sam's story--even if I really hated the ending. As always, with Manic Pixie Dream Girl movies, it ends with tragedy. She is too perfect and brilliant, and she and the other OS people leave all the humans to go, I don't know, be god or exist beyond matter, or something. This leaves Ted wiser but sadder and more of a person. I hated that, because it felt kind of cheap; and if Samantha could meet her needs with other people, why not just let them have their happy ending?

Final Verdict: This is a tough one. I'm in three moods about it. Eight out of ten because I almost cried, but it didn't break Manic Pixie Dream Girl tropes down as much as it could have.

The big finale: Both movies compliment each other very well, but could have been so much more if white twee nerd dudes weren't the focal PoV characters. Some day, we will move beyond robot women who are talking LED Fleshlights, but this is not that day.

***
Thanks for returning to the nest. Leave a comment and say hi! I want to hear from you. Keep up with the new releases by getting on the mailing list. Buy my books on Amazon, and keep up with me on TwitterFacebookTumblr, and the original blog. This is the one and only SciFiMagpie, over and out! 


Monday, 25 January 2016

The One I Love: A Missed It Review

Hello hello!

So, you know how Missed It reviews work by now--I surf around on Netflix, pull up a less than recent release which is either an indie gem or an indie turd, or sometimes, it's a cultural classic that I've never had a chance to track down. This time, it's an indie gem--The One I Love, starring Elizabeth Moss (Hi, Peggy from Mad Men!). Recommendation credit goes to Sarah Dimento, she of the excellent blog.

There will be a few


SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS


but as always, I will try to keep them to a minimum.



\

Summary


A man and a woman are in a relationship. That relationship has gone stale. We've all heard that one before--but the direction this film takes is decidedly unusual. It's a Philip K. Dick-style twist on relationship counselling. In the most literal take on self-reflection possible, the couple soon discovers that their strange, idyllic cottage hosts not only themselves, but idealised versions of themselves. What they do with the revelation, and their doppelgangers, forms the rest of the drama.

The biggest thing about this film is that not only does it do a lot with a little--it's similar to Safety Not Guaranteed or Timer. Like those two, this speculative fiction film really explores a concept without resorting to fancy CGI or effects-and -like the other two, it stayed with me.

Pros


The cinematography is great, and the movie avoids the problems rife with mumblecore. The characters are likeable, everything looks appealing, and the darkly comedic setup never stoops for a laugh or makes the protagonists too despicable to tolerate. The acting is excellent, and while the pacing was a bit imperfect, this is one of the best low-budget movies I've seen. I guess CGI or something must have been used to allow the actors to appear in the same frames as themselves, but it wasn't noticeable. The movie is very unsettling in a way--especially given one of its possible interpretations--and there's no sense of cheapness or emotional shortcuts in the writing.

Cons


I flipped through a few reviews online, and as people discussed the intricate rules of the house versus the guest house, a lot of reviewers failed to notice that Other Ethan and Other Sophie eventually came to be more like the previous versions of the characters--even while Ethan and Sophie themselves took on more ideal traits as their relationship was tested. Of course, the ending is eerie, and calls into question whether Ethan left with "the right Sophie"--but what if there never really was a "wrong Sophie"? My personal theory is that the characters can't leave the house until they've turned into the ideal people they were trying to become. All the photos and stuff were a trap, or a fake-out of some sort--the characters are essentially confronting alternate versions of themselves.

Other critics, though, offered the unsettling and intriguing suggestion that the movie is about the ephemeral idea of a perfect partner. The Other Sophie and Other Ethan are, in some ways, very different from their real-world versions. Some people said that the Others replace the couple out in the real world, and the original couple then has to help the next couple and replace them in order to gain their freedom. But that makes less sense than some sort of shape-shifting robot or echo or something that simply remains on-site, at the holiday house.

Still, if you don't mind debating these ideas with your viewing partner after watching this, you'll be very rewarded.


Final verdict




Still, the fact that the movie has multiple interpretations and layers is what makes it worthwhile; I'm not sure why people called it "uneven" or weird, but if you let this movie take your hand and guide you through its strangeness, you'll be in for a really strange and wonderful, thought-provoking treat--that might even make you reconsider and appreciate your own relationship.

Saturday, 23 May 2015

Losing My Virginity: The Ultimate Missed It Review

Hello hello!

Today, I'm not going to pretend I'm even a little bit objective. This post is about finally seeing The Empire Strikes Back. 

Yes, that one.

Yes, really. I'd never seen it before. Oh, I watched A New Hope when I was, like, four? And I watched that and Return of the Jedi so often, RoTJ's VCR copy started to wear out and the protector thingy at the end fell off. I knew enough about the story to follow along, so it was fine. But Empire just never happened. I was scared of it as a kid, of the scary images and its violence and intensity, and while it's mild by modern standards, it was much more intimidating to my fragile childhood self. I was easily scared--more on that in another post.

Then, when I was ten, The Phantom Menace came out. I bought illustrated encyclopaedias of Star Wars characters from the extended universe and droids from the universe, and flipped through everything from game guides to visual dictionaries, soaking up the rich details. I saw the movie, and since I was ten and didn't understand racism yet, it rocked my world. (And really, everything except the horrible, horrible racism in those movies is awesome. The graphics are gorgeous, Qui Gon instantly reminded me of my dad, the person who got me into Star Wars...and Darth Maul was scary enough to live up to Vader's legacy. At least, to my ten-year-old self.)

The next two movies weren't as good, although Attack of the Clones definitely left an impact on my growing pubescent self--especially Natalie Portman's beauty and steadiness, whatever her character's flaws.

Even the third movie, as awful and frustrating and dark as it was, couldn't destroy my love of Star Wars and the universe. I actually own not only a mint box version of The Queen's Amulet, a goofy fluff piece about Amidala and her guards, I tracked down a bone carver to make a japor snippet for me. I found a scrap of ombre orange velvet during some fabric scavenging and kept it just because it looked like the handmaiden gowns. So, yeah. Star Wars has serious issues the prequels especially, but my love for it is instinctive and deep to this day, enough to make me buy things and lose my mind over the sequel in December.



(you can get really great, well-made japor snippets from 
this seller, by the way.)


And all of that...without having seen Empire. 

So--I won't pretend to provide analysis, because I can't. Watching it at last, after my friends nagged me for years and it had become a running joke, was like losing my virginity. I mean that in a really good way.

Visuals: 


I knew about the big scenes, but that didn't prepare me for the wonder of seeing it for the first time. From seeing all the robots I'd only glimpsed in a handbook to the magnificence of Darth Vader stomping around to the Imperial March, to the sheer gorgeous detail of the practical effects in Hoth's battles, it was a feast. The movie was shockingly pretty and stood the test of time REALLY well, mostly due to the puppets and simple effects. The delicate foreshadowing, the beauty of the Cloud City and Dagobah...people don't talk about the fact that the camera work is as stunning as the writing and sets are, but the way shots are framed and the colour composition really stands the test of time. The use of colour, of white for deception and shadows for truth, is really stunning, even now. The Big Lightsaber Fight really stands the test of time, too, and made my heart clench and stomach churn with vertigo even though I'd seen the making-of shots. 

Characters/Acting:

The unadulterated feminist/little girl synergistic squee of watching Leia be useful and also give Han Solo serious shit was overwhelming. I did not expect her to out-cool Han Solo, but, well, she did. Seeing Lando before he could be a hero, especially knowing he'd be redeemed later, was pretty compelling. Another thing about it was the pleasure of seeing young farmboy Luke (who I had a crush on as a pre-teen, I don't mind admitting) really struggle and change. I had only seen him in ANH and RoTJ--and in RoTJ, he's calm, collected, strong of will and at peace. The middle phase was another matter, and watching his development while Leia and Han struggled to work together provided a lot of wonderful tension. The grief in The Scene--"I AM YOUR FATHER" was still pretty moving, and the literal and figurative fall after was hard to watch. It was gutting, in fact.

Lando was another surprise--I knew he'd become a hero, and seeing him fail and struggle in this film was pretty amazing, the rare case of a journey that works even out of order. Vader is what can only be described as OG, a magnificent black spectre of looming failure and defeat who haunts the protags at every turn. Every actor is on point in this film, and every character's decisions and choices matter. Let it sink in.

Plot: 


Okay, this is the one area where I have a nitpick. The whole thing with Jabba having a hit out on Han, but Vader going LOL DIBS *freezie pop* for some reason, was a bit confusing. I had to ask my partner what was going on there, and he said the Emperor wanted to stay on Jabba's good side and deliver Solo...again, I'd seen both ANH and RoTJ MANY times, but that was confusing. That said, a Cracked author mentioned that they didn't understand "how Vader knew Luke was his son", but we SEE the Emperor go "yo, Vader, Anakin Skywalker's son Luke is running around", so I'm not sure how that was a "plot hole".

That being said, having the context of the prequels and sequel (and sure, the old extended universe) really enriched the interactions. Yoda and Obi Wan discussing Luke's impetuousness, Luke's transition from derpy farm boy to calm sage in the making, Han and Leia's cracking chemistry...all of the little details added up, and would add up, and it was amazing to see how this one film has pretty much defined Star Wars more than any other.

Still, with all those nuances, there's a LOT going on in this movie, and it's more packed and faster paced than the first and third, so it's not something you can slack off while watching. There are a lot of twists and turns, and it's a rewarding, unpredictable watch.


Final Verdict: 

How do you even rate a masterpiece? Sometimes a movie is so good, you don't know what to say about it. I should have been prepared for this. I still wasn't. The Empire Strikes Back is every bit as beautiful and devastating as when it was first released. I do have that Star Wars nostalgia prejudicing me, but I also have fairly fresh eyes. The classic scenes still stand up, are more moving in context and cannot lose their impact even with a thousand quotes. "Luminous beings are we--not this crude matter."

And if you'll excuse me, I need to go cry with happiness now.


***
Thanks for dropping by the nest once again. Leave your comments, rebuttals, and vehement agreements below. Don't miss any of the phuquerie--get on the mailing list. Find Michelle on TwitterFacebook, and on Tumblr, and find her work on Amazon. Check back on the blog to see when one of the irregular posts has careened onto your feed. This is the one and only SciFiMagpie, over and out! 

Sunday, 13 July 2014

Missed It Review: Safety Not Guaranteed

Hello hello!

It's been a while--I've been working on After the Garden, which will be out at the end of the month, and epic-failed at scheduling blog posts to compensate for it.

Now, this review is a bit special because I'm working on a novella about the same thing that prompted the movie. My own tale is completely different, but I wanted to watch this one to compare the differences.

There are a few

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

But not too many. So, without further ado, here's Safety Not Guaranteed.




Source

Summary


It's s story about love, time travel, and second chances. There are no objectified Scotsmen, and the hot redhead and sexy young career woman are two separate people, and they're a lot more complex than the stereotypes. Basically, three reporters are hunting for stories and pick up a weird classified ad by a guy hunting for someone to travel through time with him. Of course, there's more to it than that, and they have to figure out whether the guy is actually on to something or a bit off his rocker. Obviously, I'm not telling you the answer.

I like movies that don't go overboard with exposition, and this one really doesn't. Characters do say their bits, but they don't spell out their feelings, and a lot of the backstory is left to the imagination. When exposition finally does come, it's at appropriate moments, and it's given the gravity it deserves. They also don't go for cheap tearjerks or overly simplified characterizations, and that's a pretty good thing.

I really like the simple camera work and the low budget, to be honest. It's got good production values, but unlike most sci fi, it's pretty simple to look at. It was a nice change. I say "sci fi", but whether it's sci fi or mumblecore is a distinction that isn't made until the end of the film. It's also got a big heart and is very sincere, but not in a crappy, Lifetime Movie kind of way. However, I might have gotten something in my eye at the end.



Source

Pros


It's smart, subtle, and basically embodies everything good about indie movies. The acting is pretty good too--it's certainly realistic. Darius is incredibly realistic and played with a lot of subtlety. Jeff, her boss, is a douche with a scarred side, and reminds me of Peter from Fringe except that he's an asshole. Kenneth is particularly wonderful and heartrending, very Nathan Fillion-esque and sincere. And if you want a movie that's touching but not pandering, has relateable but not overly idealised characters and doesn't make things artificially easy, this is just the film.


Cons


By Hollywood standards, the pacing is a bit funky. Arnau is kind of flat and awkward, and frankly he just felt like an Indian-American Michael Cera, but he was basically just a straight-man and there to fill out the cast. He's intensely awkward too. His subplot was okay, I guess, but it didn't do anything for me, let's put it that way.

The pacing is a bit wobbly, and sometimes it feels intensely awkward--if you're susceptible to fremdtscham, embarrassment on behalf of others, this movie might make you feel funny. That's about it, though.


Final Verdict


A solid 9 out of 10. It's just about perfect, it's rewarding, it's subtle, and it wraps things up while leaving an open door in the characters' lives. I couldn't ask for more from a movie, and Hollywood would do well to learn from this sweet little film. Definitely recommend it.

*****
Thanks for dropping by the nest once again. Don't miss any of the phuquerie. Find Michelle on TwitterFacebook, and on Tumblr, and find her work on Amazon. Check back on the blog to see when one of the irregular posts has careened onto your feed. This is the one and only SciFiMagpie, over and out! 

Friday, 20 June 2014

Missed It: Creature (2011) Review

Hello hello!

I was editing Cult Classics for the Modern Cult, and of course, I needed an appropriate sound-track. I kinda ignored Grabbers (2012), even though it deserved my attention, but I did pay heed to (2011). And oh, lordy, I'm glad I did.

From time to time, I will post a quick review of movies and books I either a) miraculously missed, or b) just discovered, and c) definitely think you should not miss. Or, sometimes, d) think you need to miss as hard as possible, because it is e) embarassingly mediocre or f) soul-scarringly, chew-your-own-nuts-off-to-escape awful.

Which category does Creature fall into? Well, you'll have to read on to find out. This review does contain

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS 


So if predictable horror movies are easily ruined for you by premature plot revelations, stop reading and run for Netflix right now. If not, then I present to you...Creature!


Creature (2011)

Summary


Oh, man, I knew I was in for a delightfully awful ride the minute I saw totally unnecessary tits. Of course, our  lady purveyor of comely flesh lasts all of five minutes until a big old gator makes her into lunch. Good thing, because that nasty-ass swamp looks like a petri dish for bacterial infections. We then cut to a bunch of Southern college kids in a van--complete with overacting, three couples, and all the cliches you could possibly hope for.The plot that follows is so simple I won't dignify it with too much attention--personal drama, horror teasing, and of course, mass murderation. So, let's talk about the good stuff.

Of course you can count on dense Cajun accents in this one. The dialogue, particularly when delivered in the accents, is hilarious. I know lots of Southerners. They are a colourful group. But you can always count on a B-movie to take local pizzazz and crank it up to 11. Drinking game for this movie: every time you hear a contraction, or just every time you can't understand what someone is saying, take a tiny sip of your drink. I apologize in advance for your liver failure.

Oh, and of course there's incest with disturbingly hot actors--no, you're not watching Game of Thrones, this is just a horror movie trope. I will say that scenes like what appears to have been a blow-up doll and one of the worst attack cuts I've ever seen--followed immediately by one of the sloppiest overacting yells I've ever heard--make this a chocolate-box assortment of pure joy. I hope you like bad CGI and really slow chases, because they abound. Also, really fake-looking blood. There's also a lot of tits, I have to say. It's still not Game of Thrones, though. The budget is the dead give-away. Also the presence of Not-Megan-Fox, Not-Taye-Diggs, Not-Channing-Tatum, Not-Kirstin-Dunst or Emma-Stone, and a couple more Nots to round out the van.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that the red-head sometimes gets an Irish instead of a Southern accent at random times. Also, lesbian sex teasing and a girl getting sprayed in the face with snake blood at the end of the scene. And after that, there's basically a bit of an orgy. People have sex in the woods, or start to, and...I won't spoil it, but my eyebrows rose. Of course, that was interrupted by hunters looking fer the gator. The gator-monster sure is shy by monster-movies standards, though. The film focuses on shoddy gore and its shoddy actors rather than the beast. But when we do finally see it, it's as gloriously rubbery and fake as one could possibly hope for.





Pros


It's goofy as phuque. That should be obvious. It kind of verges on self-awareness, and I think that works, in this case. I can't call it an original creature feature, but it's certainly overacted and very enjoyable. The lead actor's overacting--I can't be arsed to remember his name, but he had a purple shirt--is pretty great. The black guy--does he have a name? Do any of them have names?--takes over and actually makes a very appealing badass lead. The pacing is also surprisingly decent.

The sex and goofiness and 'scares' make this a possible candidate for a good date movie. And for once, the black guy doesn't die first! Add in surprisingly good cinematography, actors who are doing the most with a crap script, and pleasantly fake gore, and you have a really smooth ride, especially for a B-movie. I can't spoil the ending, but I loved it, even though it took the most inexcusable short-cut ever with something epic.

Cons


Well, it's not Citizen Kane, as mentioned. If you're clinically allergic to breasts, this might also be a poor choice, and it's certainly not 'family suitable' if you don't want your kids watching sexploitational horror. Honestly, even for a shlocky movie, parts of it verge on softcore porn. No, wait, they basically are softcore porn.

This movie definitely fails at being even a little bit feminist, but it's shlock horror--unfortunately, that's part and parcel of the genre. If you're squeamish, this one won't do you any favours, either. Also, the scene where the alligator eats a girl out in slow motion--or maybe just sniffs around--was exactly halfway between disgusting and hilarious.


Final Verdict


Definitely watchable. Definitely stupid. It's weirdly enjoyable and popcornalicious. Careful editing, and you could cut together a pretty good set of porn GIFs for Tumblr. As it stands, it's a solid 10 out of 10 and a valid contribution to any schlocky movie night or marathon.


*****
Thanks for dropping by the nest once again. Don't miss any of the phuquerie. Find Michelle on TwitterFacebook, and on Tumblr, and find her work on Amazon. Check back on the blog to see when one of the irregular posts has careened onto your feed. This is the one and only SciFiMagpie, over and out! 

Thursday, 5 June 2014

Missed It: Strange Frame

Hello hello!

Summary


Okay, so I need to talk about how gloriously bad this movie is. And gloriously weird. And...actually, that it's kind of good in spite of its many, many faults.

Sweet dear gods, it has exposition puking in the voice-over, but it's made up of extended Claudia Black purring. I don't care what she's saying, it's Claudia Black. I should probably talk about the plot of this thing, though. It's unnecessarily arcane and kind of hard to follow, but basically, it's a resistance type story, normal for dystopias, and it's a super arty-film. Uh. More neon colours, lesbian sex, random Japanese art porn, a record deal for the girls...drug use in the club, confirming that this is probably supposed to be watched while high. The pacing and Yellow Submarine-like aesthetic suggests that, too.

Naia gets kidnapped. Parker contemplates and angsts. We get more exposition as Parker seeks advice from an old starship captain. There's some interesting multicultural content and equality stuff and transhumanism themes mixed in. The starship captain takes Parker up, and they have a brief crisis. There's more of the time-wasty talk and banter that runs through the rest of the film. Parker helps people on the ship. They help her in return and the rest is about her trying to get her girlfriend Naia back. For once, the Netflix summary really does cover all the bases.

Anyway, bad stuff happens. I won't spoil the ending, but it's a very moody-based movie and it really pulls itself together in the last bit. Kind of a shame the music never quite gets together enough. We'll talk about that in a second.


The Stylistics


So, the aesthetic. There's a lot of bright, psychedelic colours. Those of you who are so inclined will probably find that drugs are a good compliment. There's a LOT of neon green and aqua for some reason. And also animated boobs sometimes. And really awkward close ups of some of the most badly drawn kisses ever. And bat people. And cat people. And blue people, who are just chilled out. And--SWEET JESUS RED DEMON EYES NO! However, the weird Angela Anaconda motions of the characters are offputting. I can't decide whether the designs are good or godawful--maybe both at the same time? Some of the designs look profoundly stupid, but it seems like a lot of them were intentional.

For all those compliments and insults, I have to give it serious props for creative visual style and going all out. It's daring, and I can dig that. It has an aesthetic I recognise from my limited exposure to anime, but this movie does make that aesthetic all its own. It has a feel similar to Ganekutsuou, the retelling of the Count of Monte Cristo by some of the people who worked on the Anamatrix, but this goes all the way and doesn't go into stupid robot territory. Though there are robots.



Pros


I already mentioned this, but seriously. It's van art given life. Naia even does a damsel in distress/knights comparison the minute she meets Parker, and for some reason there's a lot of music. It has lesbians, it has sex, it has people of colour, it has noirish raver cyberpunky dystopian stuff in space, and it has Claudia Black and Tara Strong. How could I not love it to pieces? Also, bat bears that were technically human at some point.

It's gloriously weird and experimental, and it doesn't take any half measures. Also, the music is kind of okay, and Claudia actually sells her character. It's very symbol-laden rather than being purely literal.


Cons


Terrible animation and weird psychedelic colours. And the proportions of all the heads kinda off. It really accumulates to make for an off-putting visual experience. And if lespolitation bothres you, this might be annoying. It's not bad considering everything, but there's definitely traces of it. More than traces. It's kinda like someone took Sin City, added random musical numbers, and overcompensated for the black and white by overdoing the colours. Also, bat-bears that were technically human at some point.

The plot is also really confusing and too slow for my taste. If you have no patience for artistic movies, skip this one; you'll be frustrated. As for the music, Naia's singing is described as being the shit multiple times, but she sings slightly flat, and the jazz and whatnot used elsewhere weren't quite as beautiful and soul-transporting as they kind of needed to be.



Final verdict


You know what, I recommend this one. In some ways it's a failure, but it's such an interesting failure that you shouldn't pass it up. It's got some very vital flaws, so I have to give it a 7 out of 10, but it was just so interesting and different and weird and sincere that I have to recommend it. It's more style than substance, in spite of its best efforts, but those same efforts kinda make it work. Anyway, it's flawed but awesome, so consider checking it out, particularly if you want something different for background noise.



*****
Thanks for dropping by the nest once again. Don't miss any of the phuquerie. Find Michelle on TwitterFacebook, and on Tumblr, and find her work on Amazon. Check back on the blog to see when one of the irregular posts has careened onto your feed. This is the one and only SciFiMagpie, over and out! 

Saturday, 8 February 2014

Three Short Sci-Fi Films

Hello hello!

So, when I'm not writing or reading, I am very fond of movies. Consider this a sort of "Missed It" review of some short films that I really enjoyed. recently. I'll be reviewing these in order of length, and in order of viewing, in fact. So! If you need a break from your Sherlock feels, something to watch that's not just on Netflix, or you're merely looking to spend a couple of hours on something different, I have just the thing.

The first is Pandemic, by Chuck Wendig.




Incidentally, I am now a Wendig-worshipper. The man's brilliant.


This was all show and no tell, and I think that's why I liked it so much. I could stand to watch it a couple more times, frankly. It creates a feeling of horror very effectively in a short time span, and there's minimal use of fancy effects or nonsense. The tension comes from the scale and the mysteries of the implications. What's up with the coal? Is the sister an alien? Possessed? What's the pandemic, exactly? What happens afterwards? It's brief, but very rewarding.


The second film of interest is Junk Head 1. 






I really liked this film because it was subtle, creepy, and unusual without sacrificing emotion or scale. Some of the design elements reminded me of Alien, but the horror really comes from all the unanswered questions about the world. How could humanity fall so low? The aesthetic is grim and oddly beautiful as well. There's even a bit of humour, something that post-apocalyptic settings often neglect, to their detriment. I don't really have anything bad to say about this one; it kept my attention and drew me into its world.

The creator worked on it mostly alone for four years, and is trying to raise funds for a sequel. You should help him. Yamiken Hori is obviously very talented.


The final film is Visioneers, coming in at the longest time.




It features Zach Galifianakis of the mighty beard. I was impressed with his performance and that of the other cast members--the dark comedy of the piece is really stellar. There's a ton of 1984 references as well. I haven't seen the film version, but structurally, Visioneers is similar--but just different enough.

Having worked in an office, OH GODS, THIS MOVIE. It really captures the emotional isolation, meaninglessness, and repetitive nature of office work. There's also some very clever commentary on how people who reject the rat race or try to escape it end up playing into the culture. I won't tell you too much, but it's an on-point analysis of Disney, Walmart, and large corporations in general. And it might just make you lose sleep. Oh, and did I mention the beautiful cinematography and excellent settings? It's precise, and on point, and I could write an entire article analysing it, but I'd prefer that you watch it for yourself. 




*****

Thanks for dropping by the nest once again. Don't miss any of the phuquerie. Find Michelle on TwitterFacebook, and on Tumblr, and find her work on Amazon. Check back on the blog to see when one of the irregular posts has careened onto your feed. This is the one and only SciFiMagpie, over and out! 


Monday, 14 October 2013

I've Seen Enough Hentai To Know Where This Is Going. Missed It Review: Mandrake (2010)

Hello hello!

 From time to time, I will post a quick review of movies and books I either a) miraculously missed, or b) just discovered, and c) definitely think you should not miss. Or, sometimes, d) think you need to miss as hard as possible, because it is e) embarassingly mediocre or f) soul-scarringly, chew-your-own-nuts-off-to-escape awful. Obviously, this means spoilers.

Tonight's shitastrophic film is Mandrake (2010). 

Source.  For some reason, this insanely bad movie was quite hard to get photos for.

 Summary


 All right. Well, I needed something to listen to while I edited a project, and what better than a craptacular movie? I will add the note that this means I was distracted while watching the film, so keep that in mind. That said, Mandrake is not exactly a terrifically rich film. I will grant Pandorum this much--it made the pretense of having layers (even though other bloggers disagreed, I still maintain that it was a fantastically stupid movie). 

So, here's the plot--which you won't find on Wikipedia, because this film is that insignificant--some archaeologists go to a jungle in a fictional South-American country for...ph4t l00t, I guess--and there's a dagger they recover with a totally not plastic 30-carat ruby. Then the jungle comes to life and starts attacking them. No, I'm not skimming over the plot; that's really all there is to it.

 The joy in this movie really comes from the effects and the atrocious acting. In the first scene--the mandatory 'some chick running through the woods' shot--we see an unconcerned actress stumbling around and even bum-scooting down a steep hill just before she gets offed in a jump cut. Shortly after, another victim from the camp site--which totally doesn't look like they just took the casting tents and pointed the cameras at them--we see a dude trip over and get pulled into the bushes. All it was missing was a funny horn-honk, and it would have been a classic pratfall from a cartoon. Add in Doctor Exposition, a blonde who is definitely a university researcher, and some disposible, interchangeable protags and baddies, and you have the perfect cast for this goofy 'jungle' jaunt. When I say 'jungle', I mean, 'probably filmed in Florida', of course. This is definitely not a rainforest.

 The casting and writing are just what you'd expect. The female actresses, with no disrespect, look and act like they're trying to make a transition from the adult film industry; the baddies are bad, the good guys are blander than truck-stop diner rice pudding, and so on and so forth. Of course, if you're watching a film called 'Mandrake' (Mandrakes, by the way, don't grow in South America, as far as I know) with CGI vines that attack people and you expect Shakespearean writing, you will be in for a disappointment.

 I do have to mention that there's a throwaway 'fuck the conquistadors' line, and then the movie goes into the standard somewhat racist paradigm where scary first-nations people abduct a bunch of whites. One of the characters actually yells, "you can't do this to me! I'm an American!" So, of course, a wag of the finger for the cheapness of that old trope. But, again, expecting intelligence from this movie is like expecting your dog to do calculus. It involves disparate abilities compared to the goal, and while it's cute, it's not very productive. 

The biggest thing I noticed with this one is that the effects are truly something special. I'm no historian--though I will admit to a real fondness for the area--but the bloopers are obvious and blatant. Let's start with the conquistador, whose breastplate is rusted away and whose skull is perfectly white and intact. Perhaps we should touch on the fact that the movie couldn't be arsed to tell the difference between the indigenous tribespeople and the Aztec--we're shown an indigenous tribe and all the engravings, of course, are Aztec. Then there's the costume designs--I really laughed when I saw those. The indigenous people look like a Spirit Halloween store version of fairy barbarians. Of course, there was an Aztec map--even though Aztecs didn't use paper or cloth, and if it was from a Spanish conquistador, it would have been in Spanish, not just Aztec. I think one of the crowning moments was seeing a North American deer antler on the priest's staff.



Source. Yeah., definitely a high production-value film

 Pros


 It's been a while since I laughed this hard. Obviously, this movie wasn't supposed to be funny, but between characters' poorly-delivered lines, the beyond-terrible historical inaccuracies, it was just brilliant. I almost think they did this intentionally. Surely a movie this bad was never meant to be taken seriously. Right? Right? Also, there is plenty of room in the pacing for an in-living-room riff track, so this is perfect for a crappy movie night with friends. Hell, even alone, this moldy wonder is pretty entertaining.

 Cons


If you don't like bad movies, you won't like this. Also, there were plenty of set-ups for tentacle porn, and not a single joke about it, which was actually quite disappointing. In fact, the movie studiously avoids laughs, in a way I can't help finding laudable--it's as though they knew their movie was laughable enough.

Normally, I would wag my finger at mildly sexualizing the death of female characters, but again, this movie is just such an underachiever that I can't bring myself to do it. So, again, if you're in the mood for something insightful and layered, this is not the movie for you.


 Final Verdict


 8 out of 10 for sheer goofiness. I docked a mark or two out of propriety, but the writing, the cast, the monster, and the whole shebang are just too delectably silly to miss. Fire this one up on Netflix and watch it with a few friends. Drink every time it looks like someone's about to be vine-raped, and every time a character spews pointless exposition. If you don't die, make sure to report back.

*****

Thanks for dropping by the nest once again. Don't miss any of the phuquerie. Find Michelle on TwitterFacebook, and on Tumblr. More interviews and witty commentaries are coming. Keep checking back to see those surprise posts, too. This is your darling SciFiMagpie, over and out! 

Sunday, 8 September 2013

Missed It Reviews: Pandorum

Hello hello!

From time to time, I will post a quick review of movies and books I either a) miraculously missed, or b) just discovered, and c) definitely think you should not miss. Or, sometimes, d) think you need to miss as hard as possible, because it is e) embarassingly mediocre or f) soul-scarringly, chew-your-own-nuts-off-to-escape awful. Obviously, this means spoilers. 

Source. I wasn't afraid, just bored and mildly aggravated.


Tonight's feature is Pandorum (2009) featuring Dennis Quaid.

Summary


Two dudes wake up from hypersleep and phuquerie ensues. As scrolling text informed us, they are the last hope of humanity. They have lost their memories, and of course, as they go about figuring out why they've been woken up, hilarity ensues.

So, the in-depth version:  Just before we get action, we hear a message stating that Earth has blown up. Shortly after that, two blokes, Payton and Bower, wake up from hypersleep and wander around all confused-like. One of them goes down in the ship's innards and finds a dead body. He falls out headfirst onto the floor after unlatching a grate--miraculously managing to not break his neck--and finds a strange creature running around. I knew that would happen, and was equally unsurprised when he was then mugged by a standard Badass Female.

We soon discover that the creature--an orc-zombie thing in the requisite jagged armour--has friends. Knowing that Elysium was carrying 16 000 other passengers to Tanis, the Last Hope planet, I immediately figured out that it was some sort of mutated human. The characters, of course, did not. What ensued was depressingly derivative: people ran around, trying to get away from the ugly monsters. The female character--whose name escapes me--rasped and whispered in an unidentifiable accent. Clearly, having forgotten everything, she'd also forgotten where she was supposed to be from.

Wooden acting and the introduction of Dead Mea--I mean, other surviving crew members--occurs just as the characters decide they need to fire off the nuclear reactor at the core for...reasons. So we're treated to cannibalism by the orc-zombies, a mural sketched by the crazy cannibal chef (who was black...probably not the best casting choice, guys). While Our Heroes use the reactor core to kill the orc-zombies, the captain guy, Payton (hereafter known as 'Beardy') struggles with a random-ass attractive dude who shows up.

Of course, Beardy and Random Attractive Young Guy argue and we get hints that the voyage has been much longer than the advertised 3-hour tour. We learn that RAYG and his passengers may have had Pandorum, also known as a Magic Bullshit Virus, which makes you have nosebleeds and go on crazy powertrips. It's a result of deep space travel...I think? To be honest, I was doing dishes at this point, and leaving the TV to play in the backgrond. RAYG talks about pitting the crew members against each other in cannibal death-matches and convinces Beardy that he might have Pandorum, which Beardy, naturally, thinks that RAYG probably has. Of course, some idiot decided to inject all the passengers with an enzyme to make them evolve more quickly, so the death-matches resulted in the development of a cannibalistic, inhumane species and...*yawn* basically, Malthusian bullshit to justify having a bogeyman for the script. There were basic logic holes here that were depressing as phuque, and I remember yelling, "are you phuquing kidding me?" at the screen at least once.

Blah blah blah, RAYG is really Beardy, who has been alive for hundreds of years and practicing stuff on his crew. Also, somehow EVERYONE HAS BEEN ON TANIS THE WHOLE PHUQUING time. Someone finally turned on a light, and boom, we see pretty alien jellyfish outside. Also, apparently shooting a gun at a bulkhead designed to go into DEEP SPACE is enough to rupture it. I'm no engineer, but apparently the ones who worked on this ship--as well as the biologists--were all complete morons. I'll be right back. I think I need a drink to finish this review.

...

Okay, I'm back, and I have whiskey. I don't usually drink whiskey, but tonight, I'm making an exception. So, they rupture the bulkhead, and Bower and the BF with the mutating accent get all cozy in an escape pod. The water is pouring in, and they seal the coffin in and shoot to the surface. Of course, the confused Asian guy and the cannibal chef are both dead--no comment on whether it is because they are both ethnic characters, or because the writers were so lazy, we knew they were Redshirts from minute one. So Bower, who is conveniently divorced, and the BF shoot to the surface. We see an island Eden and a bunch of other pods shooting up in a slightly hilarious way. The closing screen tells us that it is 'Tanis, Year One', and we get end credits.

And now for the Special Guest commentary!

The Disarcade Version


Andrey figures that the Earth was subject to a population glut of engineers. Everyone became an engineer, with the exception of the 16,000 people on Elysium. They fired off the misfits into space, but because everyone still on Earth was an engineer, they soon blew the place up. Of course, the ship was also built only by engineers, so it was rife with problems and couldn't possibly detect that it had landed on Tanis. Therefore, engineers are to blame for everything that went wrong in the movie.



Source. I am still not sure whether this was supposed to be a small person or a child, but either way, what happened next was depressingly predictable.


Pros


Well, I'll give it this--it's mockable  and it's a good 'how not to' lesson. The biggest problem is that the movie is too dark in some places and...wait, I'm supposed to say something good about it here. Fine: it wasn't as bad as The Adventures of Pluto Nash, the worst and most unpleasant sci fi movie in history.

Cons


Normally, I would try to do some kind of analysis, but there's nothing to chew on. There's nothing intellectually challenging about the movie. I was hoping for a terse psychological horror where the two surviving crew members spend the whole movie figuring out what's going on and whether they can trust each other. That's how the movie is advertised. Instead, I got what was left over after Dead Space had evacuated its waste collection pouch. It's advertised as 'Lovecraftian horror'. I scare pretty easily, and I love B-movies, but this failed on both counts. It's not really self-aware enough to be fun, and it's almost mockable, but not quite.

Final Verdict


This was bad. This was...I don't even have words for how bad it was. It failed at basic fridge logic, it had a painfully predictable plot, the characters were boring and wooden, and it failed both basic racism and Beschdel tests. It's not quite Uwe Boll bad, and it did have some interesting ideas, but I'd skip this one if you value your sanity. A resounding 3 out of 10 for being bollocks.


*****

As always, I hope you enjoyed today's batch o' fresh thoughts. There will be more feminism, more funny, more writing updates, some missed-it reviews. Keep an eye on new releases by following on Twitter, Facebook, and on Tumblr. This is your SciFiMagpie, over and out!

Monday, 23 July 2012

Missed It: Mansfield Park

Allo! Welcome back!

From time to time, I will post a quick review of movies and books I either a) miraculously missed, or b) just discovered, and c) definitely think you should not miss. Or, sometimes, d) think you need to miss as hard as possible, because it is e) embarassingly mediocre or f) soul-scarringly, chew-your-own-nuts-off-to-escape awful.


Mediaeval Bestiary Allegedly beavers would bite off their own nuts to evade hunters. That explains a lot about Canadians. And yes, I've used this graphic before, but I love it, so shut up.

Tonight's feature is Mansfield Park (1999), featuring Frances O'Connor as Fanny Price.

Summary: Poor girl Fanny Price is temporarily sent off to her aunt and uncle's, to decrease her mother's burden of multiple children, get some class, and hopefully, get married. She arrives at the Bertrams’ gates to find that the eldest son Tom is a jerk, that his sisters Julia and Maria are bitchy snobs, and that the remaining brother Edmund is a Perfectly Nice Guy. Hilarity ensues.

Flash forward a dozen years, and it is marriage time; one girl, Maria, already has a very stupid fiancé, but Julia and Fanny still need husbands, and Edmund and Tom are equally single. Two siblings, Mary and Henry Crawford, come to visit and more hilarity ensues, including a Very Improper Play that Tom, the eldest Bertram, masterminds. Henry tries to gain the hearts of both Maria and Julia, big brother Tom is a drunken sot, and Mary Crawford (the delightful Embeth Davidz) is wicked, bisexual, and delicious. She is heartless and fun, and arguably, she’s the real heroine of the piece. She and O’Connor have titillating chemistry (no pun intended) as they fight over Edmund’s heart.

It gets complex when Henry decides he genuinely loves Fanny. However, since Fanny has FEMINISM, as shown by her retellings of British history (which, to be fair, are actually derived from Austen’s own writing), she doesn’t put up with his disgusting flirting. However, Henry is rich, and when Fanny’s uncle and aunt find out that she doesn’t want to marry the skeezebag, they throw a tantrum. Of course, because women are only good for marriage, and are silly to think otherwise, she is 'punished'. That is, her (rather rich) aunt and uncle send her to her mother, figuring that spending time with her impoverished family of origin is the worst punishment possible.

It bears mentioning that her uncle has a plantation in Antigua. The movie mucks with the timeline of events a bit, and has Tom and his father...return to Antigua while Fanny is with her impoverished family? I was confused by that bit. Henry Crawford comes to hit on Fanny again, and he is rejected, hardcore. Anyway, this drama is interrupted by Edmund’s convenient dire news. Whether it's from the return trip or hangover from the first trip, Tom goes mad and enters a delirious fever. Fanny discovers his drawings of her uncle and others abusing the slaves on the plantation, and her uncle tries to cover it up. Everything is about as awful as possible, and it gets worse when Fanny catches Maria Bertram knocking bones with Henry. Maria and Henry are thrown into disgrace, and Mary Crawford’s suggestions on how to handle Tom’s fever and Maria’s disgrace cause Edmund to break off their engagement in disgust. Mary and Henry go off to find more liberal partners and do more depraved things, Maria and awful auntie Mrs. Norris live together and hate each other, and everyone else—especially Fanny and Edmund—lives happily ever after.


Source. I just can't be mad at that face. She's too adorable.


Pros: instead of being a rote retelling of the novels plot (which I adore) this is a …different version. Fanny is a feminist, not a mouse; her uncle is oppressive; the social dirt and slavery themes are more viciously underlined; and Fanny's brother is entirely cut from the plot. I was sad to see Lady Bertram’s laziness and Mrs. Norris’ awful shrewishness cut to cast Fanny’s uncle in a darker light. Still, he makes for an interesting antagonist, and it’s nice to see a period piece meeting the slavery issue head-on, rather than dodging around it. The score and the visual set are also very nice and atmospheric, very dark and sinister. Fanny’s monologue letters are a neat addition, and as I’ve implied, Frances O’Connor is delightful. I wanted to just carry her around in my pocket. Edmund, as played by Johnny Lee Miller, is portrayed with appeal and subtlety, but his attraction to strumpetalicious Mary Crawford doesn’t really fit. Still, the mindphuquerie in the plot twists really appealed to me.

Cons: This ain’t your granny’s Austen. I am undecided about the changes. I like faithfulness to material, but I am also willing to watch a movie with gutsy changes. For this reason, the fanfictionish Lost in Austen managed to capture my heart with its interesting retelling of Pride and Prejudice. I adore Frances O'Connor in this, but the point of the story is that soft, quiet, domitable Fanny shows herself to be stronger than social forces, and rebels against the marriage with Henry Crawford. Casting Fanny as a spitfire, non-conventionalist writer just changes the material beyond recognition. I found myself sitting there and thinking, “Sorry! Your Elizabeth is in another castle”. Hardcore traditionalists hated it, and I can see why. The biggest problem is the lack of subtlety and insufficient re-working to accommodate for it.

Final Verdict: 9 out of 10 for being delightful and quite gutsy; 2 out of 10 for poor implementation of the changes--a total retelling would have been better. So...I suppose that averages out to 6 out of 10. Salon.com reviewers sneered at it, as have quite a few others, but…something about it works. I dock a mark for the poorly implemented feminism, which came out of nowhere, and sloppy implementation of changes. And yet...there is so much force and passion in this retelling that I can't help forgiving the charges I just made. I do not know how much sense the plot will make for non-Austen fans. (If you are an Austen fan, expect to shout, “Oh, no, she D’IN’T!” at the screen a lot.) Still, I won't bother lying: this looks as though it will be a new guilty pleasure.

*****

As always, I hope you enjoyed today's batch o' fresh thoughts. There will be more feminism, more funny, more writing updates, some missed-it reviews. Keep an eye on new releases by following on Twitter and on Tumblr. This is your SciFiMagpie, over and out!

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Missed It: The Illusionist Review

Hello, flock! Thanks for checking out another Missed It review. I've been reading a lot this week, but sometimes, Netflix teases me with old releases I could never find in stores. This was one of them. Tonight, we have The Illusionist, released in 2006, featuring Edward Norton, Rufus Sewell (he's following me, I swear) and Paul Giamatti.

Summary: The Illusionist is a movie about a woo-woo magician who may or may not have real magical powers. He falls in love above his station and causes some trouble. When the lady-love is revealed to be the darling of both the magician, Eisenheim, and crown prince of Vienna, shit hits the proverbial fan. There is a murder and a growly Chief Inspector of awesome on the case, and the rest of the film is just delicate suspense and pretty cinematography.

Pros: Once again, Rufus Sewell from Dark City plays a villain. His angry intensity and subdued portrayal of a man on the edge is increasingly interesting as the film goes on. He does wear the "goddamnit, I suffer fools not gladly" facial expression far too often, though. If you're not familiar with it, picture an angry but very patient sheep and splice in a little wolf. He gets the "goddamnit" look on his face so often, I was tempted to start taking a drink every time he gave old Eisenheim the Sewell Method Glare of Doom. Unlike A Knight's Tale, though, he was at least paying attention for this one and was actually somewhat scary.

Paul Giamatti does a fine job as Chief Inspector. I have a liking for Giamatti and his whole-hearted performances, and this performance was really excellent. It's fun to watch him sleuth out the murderer, even if he's far more Dr. Watson than Holmes. I often wished I could transport him to a better film, but at least he doesn't seem like a total hapless mook. He even gets to growl at people instead of whinge, and wears a nice suit in this movie!


Also it has this locket in it:


Here's an action shot that should explain my squealing noises.


Thanks to Jim, the creator of these wicked awesome movie-realistic lockets, for letting me use his image and the site. Buy one of these for your partner and he/she/it will think you're the coolest boyfriend/girlfriend ever, srsly.

The focus on jewellery appealed to this little magpie for sure. Am I shallow for enjoying the locket far more than I enjoyed the heroine who was wearing it? Yes? Well, anyway, it's a beautiful locket, and I'm going to go buy one now.

Cons: the love interest, Sophy, is a bland girl who just isn't interesting or even noticeable enough to carry the film. She has a mildly outspoken personality, sort of, and...actually, I can't think of any defining traits of her personality other than 'locket' and 'subdued grey dress with lots of buttons'. And as well,

SPOILER WARNING

When she died, I gave approximately one third of a shit, not even half. Not good, movie.

SPOILER ALERT SYSTEMS DEACTIVATED.

The wavering accents are also a minus, and they go up and down like a hooker working two waterbeds. Alas, Eisenheim is very flat. He lacks the magnetism of the two magicians in The Prestige and is far too reserved. His performance was praised, but ot's too far off the 'understated' side of the curve for my taste, and far less than angry sheep Sewell and sheepdog Giamatti.

My biggest gripe involves the mystical approach to magic. It's very annoying to anyone who enjoys either stage magic or proper fantasy settings. Nothing is explained and the "it's only a trick" thing is pretty flimsy. If you are going to have a "speculations on the nature of reality" film, a less drowsy pace and actually trying to convice the audience that science was possibly involved is necessary. Casting your rationalist scientist as the villain is pretty dull. As enjoyable as it is to watch Sewell get his nuts in a knot over Norton's tricks, the tepid pace sucks the life out of it. (Also, blurry and tepid sex scene for the lose.) There is another easter egg, though; the ginger actor from Moulin Rouge shows up as a sidekick. It is as though they are giving us a buffet option with overactors.

Final prognosis: 6 out of 10 for making me fidgety and mumble 'GET ON WITH IT' under my breath. Worth a watch for the aesthetic value and fine muscial score. I liked the twist at the end, much as it was sort of predictable, but the rest of the film is a trial of patience at times, However, its potential for drinking games gives it far more interest for the future.


That was two reviews put out in a single night! Aren't you some lucky people. Follow me on Twitter at SciFiMagpie or be square. And failing that, check out Jim's site; he's extremely friendly. See you soon!

Monday, 9 April 2012

Missed It: Coyote Kings of the Space Age Bachelor Pad

I have been meaning to read Coyote Kings of the Space Age Bachelor Pad since it came out 8 years ago (in 2004). Finally this weekend I found a copy and put down the cash. There were a couple of Chuck Palaniuk-y moment that made my stomach go squish garble urk, and some stutters and falters in tone and such. However, the tone is good, characters are witty and self-aware without being precious, and the atmosphere is addictive. Time for the breakdown! Also a greasy yet cute picture of the most common four-legged predator in the Canadian praries.


Thanks, Wiki!

Summary: A couple of young North African kids, one a school dropout and the other a mad scientist, spend their days making neighbourhood children happy and being quietly awesome. That is, until their peaceful Edmontonian existence is disrupted by a mysterious chick, the drug ring chasing her, and some epic WTF surrounding an ancient artefact jar of ulimate McGuffin power. Also there is a bit of cannibalism and some emotionally resonant struggles with growing up/dealing with 'sad violin' topics in one's personal history.

Pros: Likeable main characters. Hamza and Yehat are different guys and although the story is centred on Hamza, Yehat isn't fully relegated to the role of a sidekick. They are pretty well-developed, idiosyncratic, and memorable.

The goons are also a lot of fun to read about. Pow-Zap character profiles preceding each new first person character keep the muliple narrators relatively easy to follow. The villains themselves are surprisingly well-developed specimens of ordinary human evil, complete with Feelings, Ambition, 'n' Stuff!

The atmosphere is probably the best part. The bizarre mix of Norse and Egyptian mythology with a North African backbeat works surprisingly well. The technology sections show their age, but practically everything works. It is hard to find African/non-American/Eurocentric sci-fi, so the vibe is very cool. Also I really want Ethiopian food right now.

Cons: Sheremnefer is also interesting, but what happens to her is predictable and kind of disappointing. A coupke of things here wer, such as

SPOILER ALERT INCOMING!

McGuffin desctruction and NO Happy Endings For Immortals rules coming into effect.

SPOILER MODE DEACTIVATED.

Yehat's intriguing mechanical fuckery wth the R-Mer gets exploration, but not as much as I would have liked, somehow. Also, Hamza is trapped in the past, but development of this is wobbly amd in retrospect it sometimes feels uneven. At least it feels like the character forcing himself to sulk and whimper rather than the author forcing him.

The only forced bit is the wacky sci-fi tomfoolery with the FanBoys and the new recruIts. The book went a lttle too far into the comic book side there. Too much POw-zap during an emotional peak detracted from the poignancy. Its hard to worry for characters when crazy Australians and fascists are tHrowing around swastika boomerangs.

Final Verdict: 7 out of 10. Totally worth a read, and Minister Faust has a really cool and unconventional style, but there were some hard-to-identify yet definite flaws. Still, it is a refreshig change and the Canadian setting is a lot of fun. The thing that would have bumped this novel to an 8 or even a 9 would have been a comic book or graphic novel format.



Well, that's our show for tonight. For more fun, reviews, writing teasers, and general lulz, be sure to come back, or follow me on Twitter at SciFiMagpie. And don't forget to link me to people, because your mother always told you it was polite to share. See you later!
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